6 Profound Quotes from "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson

Summary:

Since discovering Jordan Peterson's YouTube channel last year, I've become completely amazed by the amount of incredible information produced by this single individual. His book, "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" is the first book that I've ever pre-ordered in my entire life, and I've bought roughly 100 books in the last three years. 

I've already written one article about "12 Rules for Life" but this book holds so much valuable information that I had to write another. 

For those unfamiliar with Dr. Peterson, here is a quick intro.

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology. He has taught at Harvard and the University of Toronto. Dr. Peterson specializes in personality psychology with a particular interest in the psychology of religious and ideological beliefs. He’s published more than a hundred scientific papers, transforming the modern understanding of personality, while his textbook, Maps of Meaning, revolutionized the psychology of religion.

In the past few years, Dr. Peterson has become one of the world’s most popular public thinkers due to his YouTube lectures–which has over 1 million subscribers– where he describes the deep connections between neuroscience, psychology and some of the oldest stories told by mankind.

Author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Peterson discusses discipline, courage, and the necessity of clear, truthful thinking in order to live properly within the order and chaos of our lives.

Here are 6 profound quotes from his book. 

 

6)

“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood...It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality.”

— Page 27

This quote is from the first chapter of Peterson’s book (some may call it the lobster chapter), where Dr. Peterson discusses an important life lesson that can be learned from these sea-dwelling creatures. 

To start, lobsters and humans have similar nervous systems and live in a dominance hierarchy. But what do lobsters have to do with standing up straight? Well, humans and lobsters share the chemical serotonin, which governs posture. When a lobster is defeated in a fight, its posture drops, it faces the ground and appears weak to others. The same thing happens to humans, and with each defeat, serotonin levels drop and so does our posture.

If a person slouches, they present themselves as defeated. However, if a person stands up straight, it means they may have taken a hit but are not defeated.

It means that you, both physically and mentally, are able and willing to move forward in life to the next challenge. It also signals to other people that you are able to handle whatever life throws your way while you pursue your rightful destiny.

Life is not easy. There will be pain and suffering. But do not let chaos bring you down. Accept the fact that this journey will not be smooth and that no matter what happens, you will take responsibility for your life and do what you can to make it better. And when negative situations occur in life that you cannot control, you will still stand up straight and not let it bring you down.

 

5) 

“You could help direct the world, on its careening trajectory, a bit more toward heaven and a bit more away from Hell. Once having understood Hell, researched it, so to speak–particularly your own individual Hell–you could decide against going there or creating that. You could aim elsewhere. You could, in fact, devote your life to this. That would give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”

— Page 63

Everyone that is alive right now is part of this game that we call life. The stage that we have entered into as players was created, for the most part, by previous characters. No one gets to play this game forever, but each of us, no matter how big or small a role, contributes to the game.

Peterson believes our contributions can have one of two effects, it can either tilt the world up towards Heaven, or down towards Hell. 

Hell is a topic Peterson has extensively researched–for those that don’t believe in Hell on Earth, he advises people to read about Viktor Frankl’s experiences in the Holocaust camps or Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s time in the Soviet slave labor camps.

After having read both of those books, it’s easy to see why Peterson preaches about moving the world towards Heaven. The horrible events that happened in those books should never again occur, and we must all do our part to make sure the world is far, far away from Hell. As Peterson says, “You could, in fact, devote your life to this.” Doing so would not only be beneficial to the world, but it would also “give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”
 

4)

“When the internal critic puts you down using such comparisons, here’s how it operates: First, it selects a single, arbitrary domain of comparison. Then it acts as if that domain is the only one relevant. Then it contrasts you unfavorably with someone truly stellar, within that domain. It can take that final step even further, using the unbridgeable gap between you and its target of comparison as evidence for the fundamental injustice of life. That way your motivation to do anything at all can be most effectively undermined. ”

— Page 89

All of us have a voice inside of our heads that no matter what we do, always has something negative to say about ourselves. Peterson calls this voice the internal critic. This critic is an expert in making us unhappy by comparing our lives to others. 

Specifically, the critic operates by picking a single, arbitrary domain–say money–and then acts as if that domain is the only one that is relevant. For example, if I made $40,000 last year and my friend made twice as much, the internal critic says starts to say that I’m poor, I’m not as good, and that my life would be exponentially better if I made more money. 

However, this internal critic can be easily dismissed because its logic is flawed. Each person is a unique individual that consists of a nearly infinite number of domains. It is impossible to even compare two people once two domains are given.

The book uses the example of two employees, where person A makes more money than person B. Most people would automatically say person A has the ‘better life’. But now consider that person A finds out that his wife is having an affair, whose life is better now?

It’s impossible to truly compare the lives of two individuals. There is nothing to gain, it is simply waste of time and energy. Instead, focus on improving your own life and making it as good as possible.

"Psst, hey kid...you looking for some order and responsibility?"

3) 

“The first step, perhaps, is to take stock. Who are you? When you buy a house and prepare to live in it, you hire an inspector to list all its faults–as it is, in reality, now, not as you wish it could be. You’ll even pay him for the bad news. You need to know. You need to discover the home’s hidden flaws. You need to know whether they are cosmetic imperfections or structural inadequacies. You need to know because you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken–and you’re broken. You need an inspector. The internal critic–it could play that role, if you could get it on track; if you and it could cooperate.”

— Page 93

Now that you have the internal critic under control, it is time to put it to work and use it to your advantage. The critic should the play role of an inspector examining a home. It should look at the interior and exterior imperfections and identify what can be fixed and what cannot.  

It can be tempting to skip this step, but ignoring a hole in a wall does not make it go away. The same can be said of people. Identify what areas, both physically and mentally, you may need to inspect and repair.

It can be tricky, but try to be honest with yourself without being too harsh. 

To those that may believe they are beyond repair, Jordan Peterson writes that the past is fixed, but the future is not, life can get better. Of course, not everything can be fixed tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean a person should give up. 

Instead use the internal critic to identify what “you could set in order and what you would set in order–voluntarily, without resentment, even with pleasure.” Change will require action, but it is an exchange with your future self. Work today to improve your life, and you will receive a better life for your future self. 

This may be a difficult step for people, so Peterson advises readers to start small and build their level of responsibility over time. Even doing small tasks will greatly improve one's life over time, similar to how compound interest in a savings account over time can lead to huge savings. 

I started with small tasks such as cutting down the amount of sugar I put in my tea from two teaspoons to one, and then zero, and doing at least 30 minutes of reading each morning. Have these tasks made my life perfect? Of course not, but it has paid off. I can now drink tea without sugar and still enjoy it, and so far this year I’ve read 13 books. 

So take some time to examine yourself and your life, and work on making positive changes even if the changes are small. 

 

2)

“Why refuse to specify? Because while you are failing to define success, you are also refusing to define failure, to yourself, so that if and when you fail you won’t notice, and it won’t hurt. But that won’t work! You cannot be fooled so easily–unless you have gone very far down the road! You will instead carry with you a continual sense of disappointment in your own Being and the self-contempt that comes along with that and the increasing hatred for the world that all of that generates.”

— Page 276

Just as refusing to admit there is a hole in a wall does not solve the problem, refusing to define your goals does not mean failure will be avoided. Many people refrain from identifying their goals because they don’t want to admit that they've failed. 

Also, when a goal is defined but isn’t achieved, it will likely cause the person pain because they haven't accomplished what they wanted. However, the alternative is much worse. If goals aren’t specified, the person will wander around in life with a dull ache of continued hopelessness and a vague sense of failure. 

Instead, do the opposite and list your goals anywhere you can. Download an app on your phone or just use the To-Do feature. Even better, write down your goals in a journal or notebook.

My favorite method is to use a calendar. Each night before going to bed, I write down 3 things I want to accomplish the next day. I also write down 3 things I want to accomplish that week and that month. 

It’s great because I can literally see my progress and accomplishments all in one place. If I didn’t meet a certain goal, I can always move it to a different day. I can also flip to past months and see what I’ve accomplished in prior months.

For example, I’ve been tracking how many times I work out each week. Before using my calendar, I thought I was going to the gym 5 times a week, but the truth was I was only going 3 times a week. With this new information, I started keeping track of the days I worked out and felt extremely accomplished when I looked back on my calendar and saw I worked out 5 days and had the proof in writing (If you don’t have time to go to a gym, consider making a home gym). 

Does listing your goals and not achieving them suck?

Yes.

But, it also feels great when goals are accomplished. And you have the power to achieve those goals and avoid the sucky feeling of failure by simply putting in the work. You can’t have highs without the chance of having lows, you must take the risk. Trust me, the lows won’t last forever, but the ache of hopelessness from not listing goals will. 

 

1)

“Orient yourself properly. Then–and only then–concentrate on the day. Set your sights at the Good, the Beautiful, and the True, and then focus pointedly and carefully on the concerns of each moment. Aim continually at Heaven while you work diligently on Earth. Attend fully to the future, in that manner, while attending fully to the present. Then you have the best chance of perfecting both. ”

— Page 359

There’s an old quote by Lewis Carroll that goes “If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.” So before you can take the road to help tilt the world towards Heaven, you must first orient yourself and find out exactly where you are in the world. Then, and only then, can you work on finding the right road. 

Try to take the road that will make you a good and true person, and will also make the world a more beautiful place than it is today. Once you’re on this road, pay constant attention to make sure your work on Earth (the present) is leading towards Heaven (a better future). If everyone does this to the best of their abilities, perhaps one day, there could be Heaven on Earth. 

Now wouldn’t that be wonderful? 

Thank you for reading my article. If you're interested in getting this book, click here or on the image below! 

More information about Jordan Peterson can be found below.

• Jordan Peterson Website

• Reading List

• Twitter

• Reddit

If I have failed to peak your interest in this book, consider this: for the past three years I’ve been a voracious reader and have read close to a total of 100 books, but I can say without a doubt in my mind, this book is in the top 3 best books I’ve ever read. Give it a chance.  -Alex 

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If you enjoyed reading "12 Rules for Life" I recommend reading these books:

• “The Power of Myth” by Joseph Campbell

• “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge

• “The Gulag Archipelago” by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

• "Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

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"12 Rules for Life" by Jordan B. Peterson

• Book: “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” by Jordan B. Peterson
• Pages: 448
• For: Anyone who is unhappy with their life, people who are angry, resentful, or lost in life
• Lesson: 12 Rules that will help you become a better person and in turn help make the world a better place

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology. He has taught at Harvard and the University of Toronto. Dr. Peterson specializes in personality psychology with a particular interest in the psychology of religious and ideological beliefs. He’s published more than a hundred scientific papers, transforming the modern understanding of personality, while his textbook, Maps of Meaning, revolutionized the psychology of religion.

In the past few years, Dr. Peterson has become one of the world’s most popular public thinkers due to his YouTube lectures–which has over 700K subscribers– where he describes the deep connections between neuroscience, psychology and some of the oldest stories told by mankind.

Author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Peterson discusses discipline, courage, and the necessity of clear, truthful thinking in order to live properly within the order and chaos of our lives.

Here are three important rules from his book.

1) Stand up straight with your shoulders back

Peterson starts the book by talking about the surprising similarities shared between humans and lobsters. For example, they have similar nervous systems and live in a dominance hierarchy. But what do lobsters have to do with standing up straight? Well, both humans and lobsters share the chemical serotonin, which governs posture. When a lobster is defeated in a fight, their posture drops, they face the ground and appear weak to others. The same thing happens to humans, and with each defeat, serotonin levels drop even lower.

“Low serotonin means decreased confidence. Low serotonin means more response to stress and costlier physical preparedness for emergency…Low serotonin means less happiness, more pain and anxiety, more illness, and a shorter lifespan.

”

— Page 15

One bad life event can lead to another, and soon enough there you become stuck in a feedback loop spiraling down in a negative direction. The most important thing to do when this happens is to work to turn the direction of the feedback loop in reverse.

If a person slouches, they present themselves as defeated. However, if a person stands up straight, it means they may have taken a hit but are not defeated. It means that you, both physically and mentally, are able and willing to move forward in life to the next challenge. It also signals to other people that you are able to handle whatever life throws your way while you pursue your rightful destiny.

2) Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping

This chapter begins with a story which highlights that, on average, humans care more for their pets than themselves. Peterson reaches this conclusion by stating that humans are more likely to fill and properly administer prescription medication to their pets than to themselves.

Although this trait may seem healthy and unselfish at first, it is not. If the pet owner doesn’t take care of himself, how will they be able to take care of the pet for the long term? Also, why don’t people love and care for themselves the same way they care for their pet?

“[People] are excruciatingly aware of their own faults and inadequacies, real and exaggerated, and ashamed and doubtful of their own value. They believe that other people shouldn’t suffer, and they will work diligently and altruistically to help them alleviate it. They extend the same courtesy even to the animals they are acquainted with–but not so easily to themselves.”

— Page 59

Peterson writes that people must learn to respect themselves because they play a vital role to their pets, other people, and society. Peterson believes every person has a vital role to play in the destiny of the world and for that reason, they must take care of themselves.

An easy way to take better care of yourself is to treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. To take care of yourself, it is important to define who you are and refine your personality. Strive to become a good person and then work towards becoming an even better being. By doing so you will help direct the world a bit more towards Heaven instead of Hell.

3) Make friends with people who want the best for you

 

When looking back on his teenage years, Peterson notes that two of his friends were intelligent people but often hung out with the wrong crowd. Luckily for Peterson, he moved away from this group when moved to a new city to pursue his college education. However, his two acquaintances continued to surround themselves with people that weren’t good for them and both began to go down the wrong path in life.

“Sometimes, when people have a low opinion of their own worth–or, perhaps, when they refuse responsibility for their lives–they choose a new acquaintance, of precisely the type who proved troublesome in the past. Such people don’t believe that they deserve any better–so they don’t go looking for it. Or, perhaps, they don’t want the trouble of better.”

— Page 75

Peterson writes that some people who have decided to reject the path upward because of its difficulty and instead surround themselves with people who decide to take the easier path in life. This group of individuals, put off what needs to be done today and instead enjoy cheap pleasures and thrills. Silently, each person agrees not to call each other on it and they continually distract themselves from their true calling.

Even one troubled individual can be harmful. Dr. Peterson says that the psychological literature makes this clear. When a group of well-performing workers has a new poorly performing individual introduced to them, the entire team degenerates. This is why it is important to surround yourself with good healthy people.

But be warned, this is not an easy task. It takes strength and courage to stand near a good person. You must have humility and be willing to learn from others. This may be painful at first but it will allow you to grow and become a better person.  

So remember, stand up straight with your shoulders back, take care of yourself like someone you are responsible for helping and surround yourself with good friends!

If you're interested in getting this book, click here. 

More information about Jordan Peterson can be found below.

• Jordan Peterson Website: http://jordanbpeterson.com/
• Podcast: http://jordanbpeterson.com/jordan-b-p
• Reading List: http://jordanbpeterson.com/2017/03/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/jordanbpeterson

If I have failed to peak your interest in this book, consider this: for the past three years I’ve been a voracious reader and have read close to a total of 100 books, but I can say without a doubt in my mind, this book is in the top 3 best books I’ve ever read. Give it a chance, you will not regret it.

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"What Every BODY Is Saying" by Joe Navarro

Book Review: What Every BODY Is Saying by Joe Navarro

Have you ever been in a situation where you wished you had telepathic powers and could read the other person’s mind? Almost everyone has. Perhaps this happened to you at a job interview, or on a first date. We all wish we knew how the person across from us really felt at that time. Although the ability to read minds is impossible, we can do the second-best thing, read body language.

Having spent 25 years as an FBI counterintelligence special agent and supervisor specializing in nonverbal communications, Joe Navarro provides an insightful guide to reading body language in his book, “What Every BODY Is Saying.”

Author Joe Navarro

In each chapter of his book, Navarro describes a different section of the body and analyzes the meaning behind each nonverbal movement. Navarro covers everything from simple eye movements to shifts made by the whole body.

In addition to defining nonverbal cues, Navarro provides readers with images to better understand certain gestures as well as stories of real-world examples where having the ability to read body language greatly increased Navarro’s knowledge of the situation.  

Throughout the book, Navarro also tackles common misconceptions about body language. For instance, most people believe that the face is the most honest body part and the prime location to look for nonverbal signals that reflect an individual’s true feelings.

However, this is incorrect. This is because most people, when trying to hide their true intentions, consciously attempt to alter their facial expressions. Although it may not seem clear at first, Navarro gives an excellent explanation to prove his point.

People lie with their faces because that is what they’ve been taught since childhood. Kids are taught to put on a happy face and give a warm greeting to their relatives, even though they may dislike them. People even give compliments to individuals who can show no facial expression by saying they have a great poker face.

When gauging a person’s true feelings, most people start at the top of the body (the face) and work their way down. While most folks believe this to be a great strategy, it’s an ineffective method.

Having conducted countless interviews for the FBI, Navarro is convinced that the proper way to gauge a person’s true feelings, is to start by looking at the legs and to work their way up.

Navarro writes that before humans learned to communicate verbally, they spoke with their body, with the legs usually being that first body part to speak. If there was a threat, the legs would start to turn away from the danger. If there was something we attractive, such as food or a mate, the legs would turn toward the object of desire.

Having the ability to understand body language can be an incredibly useful tool in one’s life. It’s applicable to various scenarios including everything from job interviews, to first dates, to network events.

It’s true that certain gestures may have a different meaning among cultures, holding two fingers up in a V shape means peace in some cultures and victory in others, but the vast majority of nonverbal cues have the same universal meaning.

If the popular saying, “Human communication is 20 percent verbal and 80 percent nonverbal,” is even approximately accurate, Navarro’s book is definitely one worth checking out.

To get the book, click the link below!

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

By Joe Navarro, Marvin Karlins

Buy on Amazon

Try Audible and get two FREE audiobooks here.

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5 Lessons From "What Every BODY Is Saying"

Have you ever been in a situation where you wished you had telepathic powers and could read the other person’s mind? I’m sure everyone can relate. Perhaps this happened to you at a job interview, or on a first date. We all wish we knew how the person across from us really felt at that time. Although the ability to read minds is impossible, we can do the second-best thing, read body language.

Having spent 25 years as an FBI counterintelligence special agent and supervisor specializing in nonverbal communications, Joe Navarro provides an insightful book on how to read body language.

Here is some advice from Navarro’s book “What Every Body Is Saying.”

1)    Establish Baseline Behavior

One of the first lessons that Joe teaches is to establish a baseline behavior of the person you’re observing. This is important because if you don’t have a baseline, it becomes quite easy to misinterpret the person's body language.

Imagine you’re having a conversation with a close friend and you ask him about his relationship with his spouse, he reacts by rubbing his eyes. This signal can mean several different things. It’s possible he’s having problems in his relationship, or perhaps your friend has allergies, or maybe his eyes are tired from spending all day looking at a computer screen.

If the friend has been rubbing their eyes and sneezing, it's safe to assume that he has allergies. If he's been rubbing his eyes the whole conversation, it's possible he is tired from work.

“Even in a single encounter with someone, you should attempt to note his or her “starting position” at the beginning of your interaction. Establishing a person’s baseline is critical because it allows you to determine when he or she deviates from it, which can be very important and informative.”

— Page 13

2)    Look at The Distance

One nonverbal cue that is easy to read, is the distance between two individuals. In almost all scenarios, the closer two individuals are to each other, the more comfortable they are with one another.

When you’re talking and walking with your best friend, you’ll often notice that you rub shoulders or bump into each other now and then.

However, when two people aren’t fond of each other, they will keep their distance from the person.

This applies also to strangers. Look at how people sit on a public train or bus; two strangers are going to lean away from each other, while two friends usually lean towards one another.

People may also lean away from each other when they disagree while discussing business.

3)    Focus on The Legs

Most people assume that the face is most likely to reveal a person’s true intentions and that this the prime place to look for nonverbal signals that reflect what the person is thinking. However, that is incorrect. The feet, along with the legs, is the most honest body part.

Since childhood, all of us have learned to lie with our words and our faces. When we see a relative we don’t like at an annual family gathering, we smile and tell them that it’s nice to see him or her, even though we despise them.

The same goes for poker matches. People learn to hide their facial expressions and talk in a neutral tone.

However, people rarely remember to hide their nonverbal behavior involving their feet and legs.

When an individual is wiggling and bouncing their feet and legs this is described as happy feet. This is a high-confidence tell that signals that a person is in an advantageous position or is getting what he wants.

Feet can also indicate a negative emotion since we tend to turn away from things that we don’t like or disagree with.

Feet can also tell us when it’s time to leave. If you’re having a conversation with someone and the person starts to turn one foot away or pointing it towards the door, it is a sign that the person wants to leave.

4)    Signs of Dominance

In most cases, people who want to demonstrate dominance do so by spreading out and claiming territory. This can include spreading one’s arms apart on a surface or having your arm spread out on a chair.

Poses of dominance usually leave the individual open and not covering vital organs including the heart and genitals.

5)    Facial Expressions

The face has the ability to display a variety of feelings, both positive and negative, and even fake emotions.

When someone hears something they don’t like or are angry, they will often squint their eyes. The more negative the news or event, the tighter one’s eyes compress.

When a person hears information they don’t believe, they may “roll their eyes” or move their eyes to the corner.

On the flip side, when a person is excited or filled with positive emotions, their eyes open up completely and look directly at the other person while smiling.

Navarro points out that a real smile forces the corners of the mouth up toward the eyes, while a fake smile moves the corners of the mouth toward the ears.

Body language is a fascinating form of communication that not many people are able to read. However, to completely understand what each body is saying, one must observe individuals and practice often.

Joe Navarro’s book is incredibly insightful and complete with images to help you better understand nonverbal cues. To learn more get the book by clicking the link below!

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

By Joe Navarro, Marvin Karlins

Buy on Amazon

Try Audible and get two FREE audiobooks here.

Get a FREE month of unlimited kindle reading and listening here.

7 Lessons from "The Emperor's Handbook"

• Book: “The Emperor’s Handbook” by Marcus Aurelius
• Pages: 160 pages
• For: Anyone interested in philosophy, living a good life or looking for meaning in life
• Lesson: Learn to live a fulfilling life while being a virtuous person

Imagine a boy being born in Rome in 121 A.D. At three years old, the boy's father dies and he is raised by his mother. At seventeen years old, the boy is adopted by the emperor of Rome. A few years later, he marries the emperor's daughter. By 139 A.D., he assumes the title of Caesar. Afterward, he soon becomes the emperor of Rome and thus, one of the most wealthy and powerful individuals in the world.

How do you think this story ends?

If the phrases "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely" and "money is the root of all evil" are true, then if this boy was like most people, he would have succumbed to the evils of money, and power. However, this boy was different.

He would rule the Roman empire at its height without becoming tainted by the seduction of wealth or power that had corrupted many of his predecessors. This boy knew how to live the good life, how to find happiness, and how to make the right decisions.

That boy was Marcus Aurelius.

Marcus Aurelius as a boy (image link).

Towards the end of his life, Marcus wrote down notes to remind him of his guiding principles and to hold himself accountable to them. These notes have become The Emperor's Handbook.

Here are 7 important lessons learned from The Emperor's Handbook by Marcus Aurelius:

1) Purge Your Mind of Idle Thoughts

“Do not waste the rest of your life speculating about others in ways that are not to your mutual advantage. Think of all that might be accomplished in the time you throw away–distracted from the voice of your own true and reasonable self–wondering what the next man is up to and why, what he’s saying, or thinking, or plotting. Purge your mind of all aimless and idle thoughts, especially those that pry into the affairs of others or wish them ill. ”

— Page 34

Think of all the time you've spent today thinking negative thoughts or wondering what others think of us. It's something we all do, although we all know it is a bad habit. We spend time overthinking and overanalyzing certain conversations or arguments we've had in our day.

We've all had arguments with a friend or spouse where we replay the conversation in our heads for hours thinking of the perfect comeback or insult.

Is this really the best use of our time?

Marcus doesn't believe it is. He encourages us to not waste our time with these idle thoughts. Nor should we spend time wishing others ill. Focus on improving your life, not damaging the lives of others.

2) Avoid The Inferior Loves Of Life

“Nothing whatsoever–neither popularity, nor wealth, nor power, nor the pleasures of the flesh, nor anything of the sort–should compete in your affection for the good that flows from reason and neighborliness. Although for awhile these inferior loves may seem quite compatible with an orderly life, they will soon overpower and destroy you.”

— Page 36

We all know people that spend their time chasing popularity, wealth, power or pleasure. However, Marcus advises us against chasing these inferior loves. He believes that the only thing people should pursue is goodness and kindness.

Although Marcus Aurelius had fame, wealth, and power due to being the emperor of Rome, he didn't pursue or indulge in these traits.

It seems almost every day there is a news report on a new celebrity, government official or business leader that has been involved in a scandal. Celebrities are constantly having meltdowns due to all the media attention and paparazzi (e.g. Britney Spears). Government officials chasing power can be corrupted by it (e.g. Bill Clinton). Business leaders chasing wealth lose focus of other priorities (e.g. Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf).   

Emperor Marcus Aurelius.

3) Your Mind Is Your Vacation Home

“Everyone dreams of the perfect vacation–in the country, by the sea, or in the mountains. You too long to get away and find that idyllic spot, yet how foolish…when at any time you are capable of finding that perfect vacation in yourself. Nowhere is there a more idyllic spot, a vacation home more private and peaceful, than in one’s own mind.”

— Page 41

Most of us take vacations to get away and to relax. But how many of us have gone on vacation and it was the opposite of relaxing. Perhaps, you went to Mexico and it rained all week. Or maybe you traveled to England only to find out there is construction going on right next to your hotel room.

Marcus argues that a person doesn't need to travel across the country or sea to find their vacation home. The perfect vacation spot is in our minds and we can reach it anytime. Sometimes meditating during your lunch break can be more peaceful and relaxing that being on a crowded beach in Cancun.

Many people have come to this same conclusion. Yoga spots are popping up in almost every neighborhood, corporate offices have meditation rooms, and more business leaders and health officials talk about the importance of finding time to meditate daily.

4) Remove What Is Unnecessary

“Is it not better simply to do what is necessary and no more, to limit yourself to what reason demands of a social animal and precisely in the manner reason dictates? This adds to the happiness of doing a few things the satisfaction of having done them well. Most of what we say and do is unnecessary anyway; subtract all that lot, and look at the time and contentment you’ll gain. On each occasion, therefore, a man should ask himself, ‘Do I really need to say or do this?’”

— Page 46

A lot of us spend our days being busy but when the day is almost over, we feel as if we didn't accomplish much and wish for more time. Marcus' advice solves both of these problems.

He advises us to only do what is necessary and do it well instead of doing many tasks, much of which are probably unnecessary anyway. If this advice sounds familiar, it is because Peter Drucker was also an advocator of this technique.  

Before performing an activity, take a second and ask yourself, do I really need to do this? This will allow you to spend your time focusing on only important matters.

5) Be Like The Third Fellow

“There are three kinds of men in this world. The first, when he helps someone out, makes it known that he expects something in return. The second would never be so bold, but in his mind he knows what he has done and considers the other person to be in his debt. The third somehow doesn’t realize what he has done, but he’s like a vine that bears fruit and asks for nothing more than the pleasure of producing grapes. A horse gallops, a dog hunts, a bee makes honey, one man helps another, and the vine bears fruit in due season. You ought to be like that third fellow, who does good without giving it a second thought. ”

— Page 55

The first type of man is the kind that will help you but will want something in return. The second isn't as obvious but he also would like something in response to helping. However, the third fellow helps simply because it is his nature.

Just like it is a horse's nature to gallop, it should be human nature to help others. Help simply because it is your nature, not because you expect something in return.

6) Overlook The Wrongs Of Others

“When someone wrongs you, ask yourself: What made him do it? Once you understand his concept of good and evil, you’ll feel sorry for him and cease to be either amazed or angry. If his concept is similar to yours, then you are bound to forgive him since you would have acted as he did in similar circumstances. But if you do not share his ideas of good and evil, then you should find it even easier to overlook the wrongs of someone who is confused and in a moral muddle. ”

— Page 81

There are two things to take away from this quote. First, if someone wrongs you, ask yourself if you would have acted the same way if you were in their shoes. If yes, forgive the way they act.

For example, imagine you were in a crowded subway and someone shoves you to get into the train. If you were in their position would you act the same way? If you had an important business meeting with a CEO and needed to get on the train to make the meeting on time, would you shove your way onto the train? If so, do not get mad at that person for you would act the same way in their position.

Secondly, understand that not all individuals have the same ideas of right and wrong. People are all raised differently from different cultures, environments, and religions. Thus, there is no universal sense of good and evil.

For example, imagine you're walking home at night and a man comes up to you and threatens to stab you unless you give him your wallet. From your perspective, you see this as an act of evil. However, the thief might have a different perspective. Say he grew up in an orphanage and spent much of his life homeless. Say it's winter and he hasn't eaten all day. Say he has never actually stabbed someone but knows it's a quick way to get money to buy food. This doesn't justify the act of stealing, however, it is important to realize the thief is in a moral muddle and doesn't have the same ideas of good and evil.

7) Accept Corrections And Adjust

“Remember that you don’t lose any freedom by changing your mind and accepting the correction of someone who points out your errors. After all, it’s your initiative, your judgement, indeed your intelligence that makes change and acceptance possible.”

— Page 94

Life is complex and filled with information. Sometimes we make decisions and are afraid to change our position even when new information suggests a better solution. Often, it is our ego that fears being wrong (Ryan Holiday elaborates on this idea). Especially when someone points out any mistakes we may have made.

However, Marcus points out that changing our mind is our decision. It would be unwise to stick to your original position if presented with information that outlines your mistakes. It is better to correct our mistakes and make a better decision moving forward. This is what makes change possible.
 

These are just a few lessons learned from The Emperor's Handbook. To learn more about leading a good life, finding happiness and making the right decision, I recommend reading the whole book. It's less than 150 pages long, click the link below to learn more.

The Emperor's Handbook: A New Translation of The Meditations

By Marcus Aurelius

Buy on Amazon

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