5 Must-Read Self-Development Books

Overview:

Having read 35 books last year and about 30 books the year before, it’s safe to say I spend a lot of my time reading. The reason for doing so is because I always want to improve and become a better person. It is for this reason that a lot of the books I’ve read are self-development books.

No one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect, but it’s my goal to strive to be better than the person I was yesterday. And I’d like to ask everyone reading this to do the same. If everyone works on making themselves better, we will in time, make the lives of those around us better and maybe even change the world.

If you don’t know which self-development books are worth reading, don’t fret, here is my list of 5 must-read self-development books (this article was originally posted as a guest post on Bookmattic.com website).

5) “The ONE Thing” By Gary Keller & Jay Papasan

When I first heard of this book I hesitated to buy it because of its clickbait sounding title, but then a friend recommended it to me so I decided to get a copy and give it a shot. I’m glad I did. This book provides a lot of value and teaches readers how to be more productive in their career and their personal life.

This book helps readers discover their most important goal and gives them tools for managing time to be as efficient and effective as possible. It also disproves common work-related myths such as multi-tasking and provides a new set of guidelines to follow. At the end of each chapter, the authors restate key information and give actionable insight to readers.

The book is filled with advice, backed by scientific studies. It also teaches how to prioritize tasks, manage time, build good habits, use willpower properly, and goal setting.

The authors also provide readers will additional tools and information at their website here. I highly recommend reading this book if you want to be more productive and improve your quality of life.
 

“The ONE Thing” book summary & lessons learned can be found here.

4) “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover

This is another book that I didn’t buy at first because I judged it by its cover, but upon doing research into books on self-development and relationships, this book kept popping up. Given that the book was written by a psychiatrist with a Ph.D., I decided to pull the trigger and order a copy.

It turned out to be the right decision. This book completely opened up my eyes to how the male/female relationship works and why some men try the failed strategy of being nice to attract women.

Dr. Glover explains the traits of ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’ and provides examples of how men can change for the better. Each chapter has a “Breaking Free: Activity” to help men go from a Nice Guy to a good guy. A few of the important lessons readers learn from this book is how to: set boundaries, build meaningful relationships, express their feelings, deal with problems, and accept themselves.

This book provides a treasure trove of information and is less than 200 pages long. It will change your perspective on life and help you become a better person in relationships and beyond.

If you’ve been called a Nice Guy before or are stuck in the friend zone, definitely look into this book.
 

“No More Mr. Nice Guy” book summary & lessons learned can be found here.

3) “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin

The title of the book, “Extreme Ownership,” refers to one of the most important things that the authors learned from their 33 years of combined military experience.

They found that the key trait that made great leaders was taking extreme ownership of their job. That meant being responsible for everything related to their mission. These leaders didn’t cast blame or make excuses if something went wrong, they owned it all. This is the mindset leaders must have to lead their team and achieve success.

This book will truly change your perspective on what it means to lead and manage well. And this isn’t only for people at the top of organizations, it will teach management both up and down the chain of command.

Also, by developing yourself as a better leader, you can implement the same lessons to your team or company to take everyone’s performance to the next level. Plus this book has some cool war stories so it’s the perfect mix of war, leadership, and business.

“Extreme Ownership” book summary & lessons learned can be found here.
 

2) “Make Your Bed” by William McRaven

The author of this book, William McRaven, is also a Navy SEAL and spent almost four decades in the military.

The book is a collection of McRaven’s ten most valuable lessons he learned from Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training (BUD/S). This training is often described as one of the most mentally challenging and physically demanding trainings in the world.

McRaven talks about how he applied the lessons he learned from BUD/S to achieve success in his professional and personal life. The book is based on McRaven’s now viral commencement speech at the University of Texas.

At 130 pages, the book is quite short and can be read in under three hours. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for some inspiration or need guidance in life.

“Make Your Bed” book summary & lessons learned can be found here.

1) “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology. He has taught at Harvard and the University of Toronto. Dr. Peterson specializes in personality psychology with a particular interest in the psychology of religious and ideological beliefs.

He has published more than a hundred scientific papers, transforming the modern understanding of personality, while his textbook, Maps of Meaning, revolutionized the psychology of religion.

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Peterson discusses discipline, courage, and the necessity of clear, truthful thinking in order to live properly within the order and chaos of our lives. The book teaches these lesson by examining psychology, philosophy, personality, religion and personal stories.

This book is long but each chapter is packed with so many gold nuggets that I would still buy it even if it cost $100. Go into this book with an open-mind, take your time reading it to truly absorb the information and highlight or write notes on the text as you read through it.
 

If I have failed to peak your interest in this book, consider this: for the past three years I’ve been a voracious reader and have read close to a total of 100 books, but I can say without a doubt in my mind, this book is in the top three, if not the best books I’ve ever read. Give it a chance, if you read it and implement its lessons, it will change your life for the better.

“12 Rules for Life” book summary & lessons learned can be found here.

Thank you for reading my article. If you’re interested in getting any of the books on this list, click below!

• “The ONE Thing” By Gary Keller & Jay Papasan

• “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover

• “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin

• “Make Your Bed” by William McRaven

• “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson

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6 Profound Quotes from "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson

Summary:

Since discovering Jordan Peterson's YouTube channel last year, I've become completely amazed by the amount of incredible information produced by this single individual. His book, "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" is the first book that I've ever pre-ordered in my entire life, and I've bought roughly 100 books in the last three years. 

I've already written one article about "12 Rules for Life" but this book holds so much valuable information that I had to write another. 

For those unfamiliar with Dr. Peterson, here is a quick intro.

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology. He has taught at Harvard and the University of Toronto. Dr. Peterson specializes in personality psychology with a particular interest in the psychology of religious and ideological beliefs. He’s published more than a hundred scientific papers, transforming the modern understanding of personality, while his textbook, Maps of Meaning, revolutionized the psychology of religion.

In the past few years, Dr. Peterson has become one of the world’s most popular public thinkers due to his YouTube lectures–which has over 1 million subscribers– where he describes the deep connections between neuroscience, psychology and some of the oldest stories told by mankind.

Author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Peterson discusses discipline, courage, and the necessity of clear, truthful thinking in order to live properly within the order and chaos of our lives.

Here are 6 profound quotes from his book. 

 

6)

“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood...It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality.”

— Page 27

This quote is from the first chapter of Peterson’s book (some may call it the lobster chapter), where Dr. Peterson discusses an important life lesson that can be learned from these sea-dwelling creatures. 

To start, lobsters and humans have similar nervous systems and live in a dominance hierarchy. But what do lobsters have to do with standing up straight? Well, humans and lobsters share the chemical serotonin, which governs posture. When a lobster is defeated in a fight, its posture drops, it faces the ground and appears weak to others. The same thing happens to humans, and with each defeat, serotonin levels drop and so does our posture.

If a person slouches, they present themselves as defeated. However, if a person stands up straight, it means they may have taken a hit but are not defeated.

It means that you, both physically and mentally, are able and willing to move forward in life to the next challenge. It also signals to other people that you are able to handle whatever life throws your way while you pursue your rightful destiny.

Life is not easy. There will be pain and suffering. But do not let chaos bring you down. Accept the fact that this journey will not be smooth and that no matter what happens, you will take responsibility for your life and do what you can to make it better. And when negative situations occur in life that you cannot control, you will still stand up straight and not let it bring you down.

 

5) 

“You could help direct the world, on its careening trajectory, a bit more toward heaven and a bit more away from Hell. Once having understood Hell, researched it, so to speak–particularly your own individual Hell–you could decide against going there or creating that. You could aim elsewhere. You could, in fact, devote your life to this. That would give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”

— Page 63

Everyone that is alive right now is part of this game that we call life. The stage that we have entered into as players was created, for the most part, by previous characters. No one gets to play this game forever, but each of us, no matter how big or small a role, contributes to the game.

Peterson believes our contributions can have one of two effects, it can either tilt the world up towards Heaven, or down towards Hell. 

Hell is a topic Peterson has extensively researched–for those that don’t believe in Hell on Earth, he advises people to read about Viktor Frankl’s experiences in the Holocaust camps or Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s time in the Soviet slave labor camps.

After having read both of those books, it’s easy to see why Peterson preaches about moving the world towards Heaven. The horrible events that happened in those books should never again occur, and we must all do our part to make sure the world is far, far away from Hell. As Peterson says, “You could, in fact, devote your life to this.” Doing so would not only be beneficial to the world, but it would also “give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”
 

4)

“When the internal critic puts you down using such comparisons, here’s how it operates: First, it selects a single, arbitrary domain of comparison. Then it acts as if that domain is the only one relevant. Then it contrasts you unfavorably with someone truly stellar, within that domain. It can take that final step even further, using the unbridgeable gap between you and its target of comparison as evidence for the fundamental injustice of life. That way your motivation to do anything at all can be most effectively undermined. ”

— Page 89

All of us have a voice inside of our heads that no matter what we do, always has something negative to say about ourselves. Peterson calls this voice the internal critic. This critic is an expert in making us unhappy by comparing our lives to others. 

Specifically, the critic operates by picking a single, arbitrary domain–say money–and then acts as if that domain is the only one that is relevant. For example, if I made $40,000 last year and my friend made twice as much, the internal critic says starts to say that I’m poor, I’m not as good, and that my life would be exponentially better if I made more money. 

However, this internal critic can be easily dismissed because its logic is flawed. Each person is a unique individual that consists of a nearly infinite number of domains. It is impossible to even compare two people once two domains are given.

The book uses the example of two employees, where person A makes more money than person B. Most people would automatically say person A has the ‘better life’. But now consider that person A finds out that his wife is having an affair, whose life is better now?

It’s impossible to truly compare the lives of two individuals. There is nothing to gain, it is simply waste of time and energy. Instead, focus on improving your own life and making it as good as possible.

"Psst, hey kid...you looking for some order and responsibility?"

3) 

“The first step, perhaps, is to take stock. Who are you? When you buy a house and prepare to live in it, you hire an inspector to list all its faults–as it is, in reality, now, not as you wish it could be. You’ll even pay him for the bad news. You need to know. You need to discover the home’s hidden flaws. You need to know whether they are cosmetic imperfections or structural inadequacies. You need to know because you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken–and you’re broken. You need an inspector. The internal critic–it could play that role, if you could get it on track; if you and it could cooperate.”

— Page 93

Now that you have the internal critic under control, it is time to put it to work and use it to your advantage. The critic should the play role of an inspector examining a home. It should look at the interior and exterior imperfections and identify what can be fixed and what cannot.  

It can be tempting to skip this step, but ignoring a hole in a wall does not make it go away. The same can be said of people. Identify what areas, both physically and mentally, you may need to inspect and repair.

It can be tricky, but try to be honest with yourself without being too harsh. 

To those that may believe they are beyond repair, Jordan Peterson writes that the past is fixed, but the future is not, life can get better. Of course, not everything can be fixed tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean a person should give up. 

Instead use the internal critic to identify what “you could set in order and what you would set in order–voluntarily, without resentment, even with pleasure.” Change will require action, but it is an exchange with your future self. Work today to improve your life, and you will receive a better life for your future self. 

This may be a difficult step for people, so Peterson advises readers to start small and build their level of responsibility over time. Even doing small tasks will greatly improve one's life over time, similar to how compound interest in a savings account over time can lead to huge savings. 

I started with small tasks such as cutting down the amount of sugar I put in my tea from two teaspoons to one, and then zero, and doing at least 30 minutes of reading each morning. Have these tasks made my life perfect? Of course not, but it has paid off. I can now drink tea without sugar and still enjoy it, and so far this year I’ve read 13 books. 

So take some time to examine yourself and your life, and work on making positive changes even if the changes are small. 

 

2)

“Why refuse to specify? Because while you are failing to define success, you are also refusing to define failure, to yourself, so that if and when you fail you won’t notice, and it won’t hurt. But that won’t work! You cannot be fooled so easily–unless you have gone very far down the road! You will instead carry with you a continual sense of disappointment in your own Being and the self-contempt that comes along with that and the increasing hatred for the world that all of that generates.”

— Page 276

Just as refusing to admit there is a hole in a wall does not solve the problem, refusing to define your goals does not mean failure will be avoided. Many people refrain from identifying their goals because they don’t want to admit that they've failed. 

Also, when a goal is defined but isn’t achieved, it will likely cause the person pain because they haven't accomplished what they wanted. However, the alternative is much worse. If goals aren’t specified, the person will wander around in life with a dull ache of continued hopelessness and a vague sense of failure. 

Instead, do the opposite and list your goals anywhere you can. Download an app on your phone or just use the To-Do feature. Even better, write down your goals in a journal or notebook.

My favorite method is to use a calendar. Each night before going to bed, I write down 3 things I want to accomplish the next day. I also write down 3 things I want to accomplish that week and that month. 

It’s great because I can literally see my progress and accomplishments all in one place. If I didn’t meet a certain goal, I can always move it to a different day. I can also flip to past months and see what I’ve accomplished in prior months.

For example, I’ve been tracking how many times I work out each week. Before using my calendar, I thought I was going to the gym 5 times a week, but the truth was I was only going 3 times a week. With this new information, I started keeping track of the days I worked out and felt extremely accomplished when I looked back on my calendar and saw I worked out 5 days and had the proof in writing (If you don’t have time to go to a gym, consider making a home gym). 

Does listing your goals and not achieving them suck?

Yes.

But, it also feels great when goals are accomplished. And you have the power to achieve those goals and avoid the sucky feeling of failure by simply putting in the work. You can’t have highs without the chance of having lows, you must take the risk. Trust me, the lows won’t last forever, but the ache of hopelessness from not listing goals will. 

 

1)

“Orient yourself properly. Then–and only then–concentrate on the day. Set your sights at the Good, the Beautiful, and the True, and then focus pointedly and carefully on the concerns of each moment. Aim continually at Heaven while you work diligently on Earth. Attend fully to the future, in that manner, while attending fully to the present. Then you have the best chance of perfecting both. ”

— Page 359

There’s an old quote by Lewis Carroll that goes “If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.” So before you can take the road to help tilt the world towards Heaven, you must first orient yourself and find out exactly where you are in the world. Then, and only then, can you work on finding the right road. 

Try to take the road that will make you a good and true person, and will also make the world a more beautiful place than it is today. Once you’re on this road, pay constant attention to make sure your work on Earth (the present) is leading towards Heaven (a better future). If everyone does this to the best of their abilities, perhaps one day, there could be Heaven on Earth. 

Now wouldn’t that be wonderful? 

Thank you for reading my article. If you're interested in getting this book, click here or on the image below! 

More information about Jordan Peterson can be found below.

• Jordan Peterson Website

• Reading List

• Twitter

• Reddit

If I have failed to peak your interest in this book, consider this: for the past three years I’ve been a voracious reader and have read close to a total of 100 books, but I can say without a doubt in my mind, this book is in the top 3 best books I’ve ever read. Give it a chance.  -Alex 

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If you enjoyed reading "12 Rules for Life" I recommend reading these books:

• “The Power of Myth” by Joseph Campbell

• “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge

• “The Gulag Archipelago” by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

• "Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

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"The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan

Summary:

“The Dragons of Eden” (1977) was written by Carl Sagan, an American scientist who specialized in astronomy and the search for extraterrestrial life. Sagan achieved worldwide recognition as an advocate for science education with his television series, Cosmos. 

He won the Pulitzer Prize for this book and it spent thirty-three weeks on the New York Times bestseller-list. The book offers to explain the evolution of the human species from the beginning of the Big Bang to our current time period. 

Sagan looks at clues from a wide variety of sciences including anthropology, biology, mythology, philosophy, and psychology to support his reasoning. He spends a great deal of the book focusing on the human brain, how it functions, and how it differs from other animals. 

Carl Sagan achieved worldwide recognition as an advocate for science education with his television series, Cosmo.

Lessons:

1) Humans are young, very young 

“It is disconcerting to find that in such a cosmic year the Earth does not condense out of interstellar matter until early September; dinosaurs emerge on Christmas Eve; flowers arise on December 28th; and men and women originate at 10:30pm on New Year’s Eve. All of recorded history occupies the last ten seconds of December 31; and the time from the waning of the Middle Ages to the present occupies little more than one second. ”

— Page 17

Carl Sagan starts his book by talking about time and the history of the universe. It may be hard to grasp just how old everything in the universe is so Sagan creates a Cosmic Calendar to better comprehend the length of time. He does this by essentially taking the ~14 billion years of time since the Big Bang occurred and scaling it onto a typical 12-month calendar. 

The calendar starts on January 1st, beginning with the Big Bang. May 1st would be the origin of the Milky Way Galaxy, and September 9th would be the origin of the solar system. Around September 25th, life starts to exist on Earth. By December 16th the first worms exist on Earth, and on December 22nd insects exist. Mammals begin to roam Earth by December 26th but it isn’t until December 31st that the first humans can be found on Earth.

However, the calendar gets even more specific. The first humans occur at ~10:30 PM on December 31st. By 11:46 PM, fire is domesticated. By 11:59:20 PM, agriculture is invented. The birth of Christ occurs at 11:59:56 PM, the Renaissance in Europe occurs at 11:59:58 PM, the current time period of man occurs at the first second of New Year’s Day. 

The reason Sagan dives deep into the Cosmic Calendar is that he is trying to show that humans are incredibly new in the scale of the universe. The universe is ~14 billion years old and modern humans have existed for a ridiculously small portion of time. Science and technology can only tell us so much about the past and our ancient ancestors weren’t developed enough to write down their history but Sagan does his best to explain the evolution of mankind through research from a wide range of sciences. 
 

2) Dragons Are Within & Around Us 

“Or does the metaphor of the serpent refer to the use of the aggressive and ritualistic reptilian component of our brain in the further evolution of the neocortex? With one exception, the Genesis account of the temptation by a reptile in Eden is the only instance in the Bible of humans understanding the language of animals. When we feared the dragons, were we fearing a part of ourselves? One way or another, there were dragons in Eden. ”

— Page 150

Halfway through the book, Sagan talks about dragons and the meaning behind the book’s title. Although dragons are mythical creatures, there are real animals that resemble dragons, one example is the Komodo dragon–a reptile that can weigh up to 300 pounds and be 10 feet in length (oh and did I mention they are venomous?). 

There's good reason that our ancestors were afraid of these dragon-like creatures. It’s no surprise that there are plenty of myths about dragons and how they terrorized and attacked humans.

Interestingly enough, Sagan points out that dragon myths aren’t just found in the Western world, but are instead a worldwide phenomenon. This may be because of dinosaurs or similar reptiles, which may have resembled dragons.

Dragons might also be a metaphor for the ‘reptile brain’ in humans, which controls our aggression and rituals. Another theory is that perhaps humans fear the dragon inside of themselves and other people.

Sagan also notes that in the story of Genesis, Adam and Eve are tempted by a reptile in Eden. Since a reptile has been the downfall of man once, it’s possible man stays away from reptiles to avoid another mistake such as the one committed by Eve. Either way, dragons can be found inside of people and the outside world. 

 

3) A Few Other Lessons

Since Sagan’s book is tightly packed with facts and information, here are some of the interesting ideas learned from his book:

• The best measure of intelligence of an organism is not the mass of the brain, but the ratio of the mass of the brain to the total mass of the organism. 
• In a diagram of brain mass versus body mass for primates, mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, and dinosaurs, Homo sapiens rank number one while dolphins rank second.
• Having a large brain compared to our body mass may be one of the reasons humans have been able to survive and rise to the top of the food chain.
• However, this gift comes with a price. Humans are the only species that experience pain during childbirth, this is due to the large skull of human babies. 
• Our brain gives us the ability to think about the future and focus on long-term benefits, but we get a lot of anxiety from it and from thinking about our inevitable end.

Conclusion:

After reading "The Dragons of Eden", it’s clear to see why this book won a Pulitzer Prize. The book is jam-packed with incredible facts and information that will require readers to take a moment to soak it all in. The book flows wonderfully and has diagrams and images to help readers better understand the text. 

The book is about 250 pages long and expertly written, so it is quite easy to read–no Ph.D. or Masters in science degree is required. However, I do wish this book had clear-cut lessons for readers at the end of each chapter to identify the key information from each chapter. 

Also, since this book was written in 1977, its safe to say that in the past 40 years someone has written a book on this topic with updated information. But, since I have yet to find that book, I’m giving Sagan a curve and ranking his book a four out of five. 

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you're interested in getting this book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: "The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan
• Pages: 288
• For: People interested in learning about the evolution of mankind and the brain
• Lesson: Gain insight into the brain of man and beast, the origin of human intelligence

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"Draft No. 4" by John McPhee

Summary:

“Draft No. 4” is written by John McPhee, a staff writer at The New Yorker and author of thirty-two books. McPhee began contributing to The New Yorker in 1963. He has written more than a hundred pieces for the magazine. Prior to working at The New Yorker, he worked at Time.

He has taught at Princeton and is considered a prominent figure in creative nonfiction (fun fact: Tim Ferriss was one of McPhee’s students at Princeton).

McPhee’s book is a collection of expertly written essays from his time at The New Yorker and each chapter offers insights on the process of writing.

John McPhee, author of "Draft No. 4."

Lessons:

1) How To Properly Interview People

“Whatever you do, don’t rely on memory. Don’t even imagine that you will be able to remember verbatim in the evening what people said during the day. And don’t squirrel note in a bathroom–that is, run off to the john and write surreptitiously what someone said back there with the cocktails.”

— Page 92

When interviewing someone, McPhee advises writers to use a voice recorder instead of simply relying on memory. Sometimes after asking a question, the writer may get distracted a miss an important response from the interviewee, but with a voice recorder, they can always go back and listen the to answer.

Also, don’t try to hide the voice recorder, notebook or laptop. Display it as “if it were a fishing license” says McPhee. The subject will be watching as the writer takes down notes and will begin to get nervous when they stop. Every now and then, the interviewee becomes nervous, tries harder, and spills out a secret or important piece of information.

McPhee goes on to say that “if doing nothing can produce a useful reaction, so can the appearance of being dumb.” Some subjects require additional information or simpler explanations so it can be of benefit to ask the interviewee to review or explain the matter again.

However, McPhee says that enough preparation should be done before the interview so that the writer is at the very least, polite. For example, it wouldn’t be wise nor nice to ask someone like Elon Musk or Tom Cruise what they do for a living.


 

2) The First draft is the hardest

“For me, the hardest part comes first, getting something–anything–out in front of me. Sometimes in a nervous frenzy I just fling words as if I were flinging mud at a wall. Blurt out, heave out, babble out something–anything–as a first draft. With that, you have achieved a sort of nucleus.”

— Page 159

Even after being a writer for several decades, McPhee still has trouble with writing a draft. First drafts are the most difficult because it takes time and still comes out awful. For one of McPhee’s books, the first draft took him “two gloomy years.”

Writers must simply start writing and be aware that the piece will likely be terrible but at least it will have some kind of shape. Throughout this process, there may be some doubt and many experienced writers, and even published authors, start to question their writing skill and the work itself.

The good news however is that once the first draft is completed, a lot of the dread disappears. The second draft involves altering sentences and editing, and these steps are repeated in drafts three and four. Writers have the special ability to review and revise their work, unlike an artist on stage. Use this special power and craft your work from a piece of stone into a sculpture.

 

3) Focus On The Details

“If I enjoy anything in this process it is draft no. 4. I go searching for replacements for the words in the boxes. The final adjustments may be small-scale, but they are large to me, and I love addressing them.”

— Page 162

When McPhee finally gets to draft number four, he marks certain words that do not seem quite right or perhaps could be even better with the right word. Although this step may seem minute, McPhee believes that it is this type of small-scale works can make transform the piece into something great.

McPhee writes that he spends a lot of time with dictionaries, but “more time looking up words I know than words I have never heard of–at least ninety-nine to one.” Certain words can have multiple meanings and definitions change over time as language evolves over time, so it’s important to make sure the word carries the correct meaning the writer is trying to convey.

Another tool that McPhee uses is a thesaurus. It improves his writing by helping him find the best possible word for the sentence. Don’t rely just on memory, use tools such as dictionaries and thesauruses that will help take your work from good to great.
 

Conclusion:

“Draft No. 4” is less than 200 pages long and can be read rather quickly. McPhee is a fantastic writer and knows how to keep readers engaged.

However, this book is more of a story format book rather than a book with clear-cut lessons and tips for readers.

If you write for a career and have already a lot of the mainstream books on writing, then you might enjoy this book. But if you are just starting out as a writer, I’d recommend “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser or “Ernest Hemingway on Writing" edited by Larry Phillips.

Rating: 3/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Draft No. 4” by John McPhee
• Pages: 192
• For: People who want to improve their writing skills
• Lesson: Learn about writing and the writing process from a staff writer at The New Yorker

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"Make Your Bed" by William McRaven

Summary:

Make Your Bed (2017) is written by William H. McRaven, a retired four-star US Navy SEAL admiral. Throughout his 37 years of service, McRaven learned a lot about life and success through his military training and combat experience overseas.

Admiral William McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired)

The book is a collection of McRaven’s ten most valuable lessons he learned from BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training). For those unfamiliar with BUD/S, here is an overview:

“Before becoming Navy SEALs, candidates are put through some of the most mentally challenging and physically demanding training in the world. Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training, or BUD/S, is designed to find and develop men of the strongest character who give everything.“

McRaven then talks about how he applied the lessons he learned from BUD/S towards his professional and personal life. The book is based on McRaven’s now viral commencement speech at the University of Texas.
 

Lessons:

1)  Make Your Bed

“Making my bed correctly was not going to be an opportunity for praise. It was expected of me. It was my first task of the day, and doing it right was important. It demonstrated my discipline. It showed my attention to detail, and at the end of the day it would be a reminder that I had done something well, something to be proud of, no matter how small the task.”

— Page 6

The first lesson in the book is one that soldiers learn very early on in military training–making their beds. If not done to perfection, the soldier can expect to be punished through physical training.

This may seem silly or sadistic, but there is an important lesson behind this simple task. Soldiers are expected to make their beds correctly because it shows attention to detail and discipline. If someone can’t make their bed, how can they be expected to follow or lead others into battle? The small things must be done right before big things can be accomplished.

This simple task is also a reminder that something done well, no matter how small, is something to be proud of. Accomplishing a task, even a small one, will fill the person with a sense of pride and encourage them to do another task.

Also, if the soldier has an exceptionally tough day of training or combat, they will remember that whenever they return, there will be a clean bed waiting for them (Author and psychologist Jordan Peterson is also a big fan of people having their beds made and room clean).

2) Get Over Being A Sugar Cookie 

“In all of SEAL training there was nothing more uncomfortable than being a sugar cookie. There were a lot of things more painful and more exhausting, but being a sugar cookie tested your patience and your determination. Not just because you spent the rest of the day with sand down your neck, under your arms, and between your legs, but because the act of becoming a sugar cookie was completely indiscriminate. There was no rhyme or reason. You became a sugar cookie at the whim of the instructor.”

— Page 38

US Navy SEALs are some of the most elite soldiers in the world, but becoming one is filled with challenges such as having to become a sugar cookie. This is done by jumping in the cold Pacific water and then covering oneself completely in sand. The soldier would then stay in that uniform the rest of the day, cold, wet and sandy.

Similarly to making one's bed, this task may seem ridiculous at first but it holds a deep life lesson.

While training to become a SEAL, McRaven was told to become a sugar cookie. Afterwards, the Lieutenant came over and explained why the instructors make recruits perform this task.

The lesson to learn from becoming a sugar cookie is that life isn’t fair and the sooner soldiers learn this, the better off they will be.

Sometimes no matter how well a person prepares or how well they perform, it's possible to end up as a sugar cookie in life. Instead of complaining or being negative, one must accept that life can be unfair, but they must keep moving forward.
 

3) Don’t Back Down From Sharks

“But you are also taught that if a shark begins to circle your position–stand your ground. Do not swim away. Do not act afraid. And if the shark, hungry for a midnight snack, darts towards you–then summon up all your strength and punch him in the snout, and he will turn and swim away.”

— Page 120

During SEAL training, recruits spend a large portion of their time swimming in the open waters of the Pacific ocean. These waters are known to be a breeding ground for many sharks–including great white sharks. However, to pass SEAL training, soldiers must complete a series of long swims, most during the daytime but some during the night, through this shark-infested area.

Instructors advise students that no student has ever been eaten by a shark–at least not recently, but if a shark did begin to circle a student they should stand their ground. The student should not swim away nor act afraid.

If the shark darts towards them, they should gather their strength and punch the shark in the snout.

The shark in this story is a symbol for the bullies of the world.

Sharks, like bullies, will try to scare their prey and target weak animals. To combat sharks, one must have the courage to stand up to these predators. With courage, people have the ability to defy and defeat any evil.

So remember: make your bed every morning, life can be unfair at times but you must keep moving forward, and stand up to bullies to make the world a better place. These simple lessons along with others are the little things that can change your life...and maybe even the world.

Conclusion:

There have been a lot of books by Navy SEALs in the past few years, some wrote war memoirs, others wrote about training soldiers, while others wrote about business lessons. But this book is unique because it focuses solely on life lessons and how readers can improve themselves and the world around them.

I bought this book after watching Admiral McRaven’s commencement speech (if you haven’t watched it, here’s the link) because I found his words inspiring.

The book expands on McRaven’s speech and provides situations where McRaven learned these life lessons and how he applied this knowledge throughout his career.

At 130 pages, the book is quite short and can be read in under three hours. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for some inspiration or need guidance in life.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Make Your Bed” by Admiral William McRaven
• Pages: 130
• For: People who need some inspiration or guidance in life, those who seek life advice
• Lesson: Learn how doing certain little things in your life can help change yourself and the world for the better

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"Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki

Summary:

“Rich Dad Poor Dad” was written by Robert Kiyosaki–an investor, entrepreneur, and educator who is often called the millionaire school teacher. Kiyosaki aims to teach readers how to be financially literate, a skill that is often taught only by rich parents to their soon to be rich children.
 

While growing up, Kiyosaki had two dads, one was his biological father, and the other was his best friend’s father. The author’s real father worked for the government and had a Ph.D. However, although this dad was well-educated, he often struggled with money and paying the bills.

On the other hand, Kiyosaki’s second father had an eighth-grade education but went on to become one of the richest men in Hawaii. Kiyosaki talks about money lessons he learned from both of his fathers and teaches readers the secret to becoming financially independent and successful.

Robert Kiyosaki, author of the bestselling book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” Kiyosaki has authored more than 15 books to date.

 

Lessons:

1) The RicH Buy Assets, The Poor Buy Liabilities

“You must know the difference between an asset and a liability, and buy assets. If you want to be rich, this is all you need to know. It is Rule No. 1. It is the only rule. This may sound absurdly simple, but most people have no idea how profound this rule is. Most people struggle financially because they do not know the difference between an asset and liability. ”

— Page 58

The main difference between an asset and liability is that an asset makes money, while a liability loses money.

The rule sounds simple, yet many people, especially the middle and poor class, confuse the two groups.

Here’s what Kiyosaki’s rich dad considers to be an asset:

• Businesses that require little oversight
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Mutual funds
• Income-generating real estate
• Notes (IOUs)
• Royalties from intellectual property such as music, scripts, patents
• And anything that has value, produces income or appreciates and has a ready market

All assets have one thing in common, they will make you more money. That is why you want to own assets.

Liabilities, on the other hand, drain money from your pockets.

Liabilities can be anything from home mortgages, consumer loans, credit cards, or a new car, furniture or appliance when the old one works fine.

Take a new car for example. Many people believe a car is an investment, but this is only true in rare cases, such as if it is a collectible or limited edition.

With a regular car, as soon as you drive off the dealer's lot, it automatically decreases in value. Then there’s car insurance, license plates, and registration costs. There’s also fuel costs and yearly check-ups. Also, the more a person drives a car, the more it decreases in value. A car bought for $20,000 may end costing $30,000 or more after five years of insurance payments, fuel costs, and other related expenses.

However, if the person took that same $20,000 and put it into the stock market and earned 10% each year, they would now have over $30,000 in their account. See the difference? One person lost $30K while the other made $30K. 
 

2) Overcome the fear of losing money

“Once people have studied and become financially literate, they may still face roadblocks to becoming financially independent. There are five main reasons why financially literate people may still not develop abundant asset columns. Asset columns that could produce large sums of cash flow. Asset columns that could free them to live the life they dream of, instead of working full time just to pay bills.”

— Page 147

The fear of losing money is one of the first obstacles that must be overcome. Kiyosaki writes that he has never met a rich person who has never lost money. He goes on to say that everyone is afraid of losing money, even the rich. The difference is how one handles losing money.

One of the best ways to handle this fear is to start investing early and see losing money as a teaching tool. Anyone who rides a bike will fall down many times and anyone who plays golf will lose at least a couple of golf balls, all of these moments are opportunities to learn from mistakes.

Losing money and failing is part of the journey to becoming better. Failure decreases fears and can increase a person’s desire to win.

In his book, Kiyosaki goes on to talk about the other four obstacles to success, including cynicism, laziness, bad habits, and arrogance.
 

3) Education Is The Best Investment

“Just because you have no money, it should not be an excuse to not learn. But that is a choice we all make daily, the choice of what we do with our time, our money and what we put in our heads. That is the power of choice. All of us have a choice. I just choose to be rich, and I make that choice every day.”

— Page 168

Before making investments in assets, the first investment should be in education. Kiyosaki says that the mind is the only real asset people have, and the most powerful tool in our domain.

Everyday people have the choice of whether to watch TV, play video games, or read a book. “90 percent of the population buys TV sets and only about 10 percent buy books on business or tapes on investments,” says Kiyosaki.

There are multiple ways people can invest in education.

To start, you can buy books. If books are expensive, buy a used copy or go to a library. If you’re more of an audio person, can also listen to audio-books (here's a link to a free audio book).

There are also tons of videos on YouTube that are educational and free watch to watch. One of the author's favorite ways to learn is by attending in-person seminars that take a deep dive into the subject.

To be successful, people must be humble enough to realize that they don’t know everything and that they should read and learn from what others have to say. Intelligent people welcome new ideas and one of the best ways to learn is by listening instead of talking.
 

Conclusion:

At first, I wasn’t sure if this book was worth reading because it sounded like a get-quick-rich type of book. However, since it was a #1 NYT bestseller, I figured I’d check it out.

Surprisingly, the book has a lot of solid information on money skills and how to manage one’s finances.

This is a great book for people in high school and college since educational institutions don’t focus on teaching money skills. Also, recommend it to people who have trouble with their finances and have never made any investments before.

The author also provides readers will additional tools and information at their website here.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki
• Pages: 207
• For: People in high school & college, and people who want to be financially independent
• Lesson: Learn how to invest your money properly, what rich people teach their kids, and common obstacles stopping people from financial success

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"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover

Summary:

Written by a psychotherapist with a PhD., No More Mr. Nice Guy (2003) by Dr. Glover, examines ‘nice guy syndrome’ and shows readers how to break free from this disease.

Contrary to popular belief, most ‘nice guys’ aren’t nice.

These are men that are passive aggressive, seek approval, and use many forms of manipulation. Nice Guys believe that if they are nice and give a lot to others, in return other people will be nice and give back to them.

They view niceness as an exchange, instead of as a gift. Because of this, many nice guys become unhappy and frustrated, especially with women, because they believe the other person didn’t complete their end of the deal.

Nice guy behavior includes: care taking, giving to get, fixing, keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, seeking approval, hiding mistakes.

Many of them are also: dishonest, secretive, controlling, passive-aggressive, isolated, and full of rage.

Author Dr. Glover

Dr. Glover explains all of these traits and provides examples of how men can change for the better. Each chapter has a “Breaking Free: Activity” to help men go from a Nice Guy to a good guy. A few of the important lessons readers learn from this book, is how to: set boundaries, build meaningful relationships, express their feelings, deal with problems, and accept themselves. 

Lessons:

1) Nice Guys Aren’t Actually Nice

“As a result of the conditioning they received in their family and society, Nice Guys believe if they are “good,” then they should be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. In reality, the primary paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is nothing more than a big covert contract with life.”

— Page 62

Nice Guys use a contract that says “I will do this X, so that you will do Y” but this contract is only known to the Nice Guy and they become resentful when the other person does not give back.

The Nice Guy often sees themselves as the victim, and giving to get creates a cycle of craziness that turns into what Dr. Glover calls the "Victim Triangle". It consists of three predictable sequences:

1. The Nice Guy gives to others hoping to get something in return.
2. When he doesn’t get as much in return, he becomes frustrated and resentful. Remember, the Nice Guy is the one keeping score, and isn’t totally objective.
3. After the frustration and resentment builds up long enough, it spills out in the form of rage attacks, passive-aggressive behavior, pouting, tantrums, withdrawing, shaming, criticizing, blaming, and physical abuse. Once the cycle is completed, it begins all over again.

This is just one of the reasons why Nice Guys aren’t always nice.

Other times, Nice Guys try to buy people’s love. One such man described in Glover’s book bought his girlfriend gifts, sent her cards, bought her clothes, planned special surprises, and helped out with her home.

However, all of this was too much for the girlfriend and she felt it was overwhelming and that she could never repay him. So she tried to stop him by pushing him away. Meanwhile, the man didn’t understand and lashed out at his girlfriend, as predicted in the victim triangle.

Nice Guys often swing between the two extremes of being overwhelming nice to seriously angry. Be aware of Nice Guy traits in yourself and potential partners. Identifying the problem is the first step towards solving it.
 

2) Reclaim Your Masculinity

“I define masculinity as that part of a man that equips him to survive as an individual, clan, and species. Without this masculine energy we would have all become extinct eons ago. Masculinity empowers a man to create and produce. It also empowers him to provide for and protect those who are important to him. These aspects of masculinity include strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence, and integrity.”

— Page 93

Most Nice Guys are disconnected from their masculinity and other men. They strive to attract women by being different and believe that by being nice and kind they will be able to get any women they desire.

Meanwhile, men who are “jerks” are able to attract women and the Nice Guys begin to resent women for being so blind and ignorant. Dr. Glover asked several women why they go after these so-called jerks over Nice Guys, and they said that Nice Guys have little life energy in them and that “jerks” have a masculine edge to them.

Women don’t want a passive, pleasing wimp, writes Dr. Glover. Women don’t want to be married to someone they can walk all over. A women won’t feel safe knowing she can push her man around. If she can push him around, it means other people can too.

This is why, time after time, women will test their men. She wants to see if she can trust her man. She will do her best to see if boundaries exist, or if her man will just roll over and quit.

Setting boundaries will create respect. If she knows her man will stand up to her, he is also likely to stand up for her.

Nice Guys must also connect with other men that are healthy male role models. Women are attracted to men who have a strong social circle and it helps the man get some of his emotional and social needs met with men, taking pressure off from their wife.

As a result of getting their emotional needs met with men, Nice Guys become less dependent, needy, manipulative, and resentful in their relationships with women.

 

3) Take Responsibility and Work to Improve

“It is time to start getting what you want. Breaking free from the Nice Guy Syndrome will allow you to discover your true passion and potential. By taking responsibility for creating the kind of life you really want, you can become all that you were meant to be.”

— Page 175

This is a theme I see over and over again in books (“Extreme Ownership” & “12 Rules for Life”). You are the only person on this planet that is responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. Once you accept that fact, it is time to start working on improving your life to the quality you desire.

Dr. Glover provides several key actions to help readers improve their life:

• Don’t settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.
• Put yourself first.
• No matter what happens, you will handle it.
• Ask for what you want.
• Be clear and direct.
• Learn to say “no.”
• Don’t make excuses.
• Be honest with yourself.
• Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever.
• Stop blaming, victims never succeed.
• Live with integrity, decide what feels right to you, then do it.
• Be good to yourself.
• Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences.
• Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want.
• If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.

Conclusion:

I was skeptical of this book at first because the title sounded as if it were from the PUA community, but I looked into the author and saw that he had concrete credentials so I gave this book a shot.

This book provides a treasure trove of information and is less than 200 pages long. It will change your perspective on life and help you become a better person in relationships and beyond. If you’ve been called a Nice Guy before or are stuck in the friend zone, definitely give this book a chance.

The author also provides readers will additional tools and information at their website here. I highly recommend reading this book if you want to stop being a Nice Guy and start living life a true and genuine man.

Rating: 5/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover
• Pages: 180
• For: Men who are unhappy with their relationship, stuck in the friend zone, or men who have been called a “nice guy”
• Lesson: Learn how to be confident, embrace your masculinity, accept yourself, and build meaningful relationships

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"Trust Me I'm Lying" by Ryan Holiday

Summary:

Holiday's job as a marketer is to manipulate the media in order to promote his client’s products so that more people will buy them. The news, he says, “is created and driven by marketers, and that no one does anything to stop it. After much success in media manipulation, Holiday set out to expose the dark art of it is done.

Author Ryan Holiday.

Since most news is now online, blogs and media sites aim to have as much page views as possible. The more traffic a website has, the more that site can charge advertisers, and thus the more money they can make. 

However this is a horrible incentive, Holiday points out. This model means that traffic is more important–and more profitable–than the truth of real news.

Unlike a traditional newspaper that is published every day, blogs can publish a story every minute. This means if they publish a breaking story first, they’re likely to get a large number of visitors. And since more visitors means more profit, blogs focus on publishing first, even if the story doesn’t have much information or the facts in the story haven’t been verified. 

The next problem is that “89 percent of journalists reported using blogs for their research for stories.” Meaning, if a blog has a breaking news story, it might be picked up by a journalist for Wired or Forbes, even if the story has yet to be confirmed. 

For his client’s book, Holiday set up posters and then graffitied it. He then submitted an anonymous tip to several blogs and a blog soon wrote a story on it. Then another site saw the blog’s article and wrote their own story on it. All of these stories were not news, but essentially free PR for the client’s book.   

Since many journalists are rarely in a position to witness or establish the truth, they are dependent on other sources, ones who likely have their own self-interests at heart. 

Holiday also notes that most of the time, the truth is boring. Truthful news is great, but since it is boring, it won’t be shared, and since it won’t be shared, it won’t get a lot of traffic AKA money. 

Thus, blogs tend to focus on the controversial news since anger is one of the most powerful predictors of what spreads online. Holiday used this knowledge to his advantage by having a pornstar pose with American Apparel clothing for an ad, even though she were nude and only wore socks. The ad made many people angry and was controversial, which resulted in more free publicity and sales for the company. 

Lessons:

 

1) Be Careful of Advertisements as Content

“Blogs so desperately need material that I would send them screenshots of ads and say, ‘Here is an exclusive leak of our new controversial ad.’ The next day: ‘Exclusive! American Apparel’s Controversial New ad.’ The chatter about these advertisements always perplexed me: Don’t they know that generally companies have to pay to generate this kind of attention?
”

— Page 191

Since blogs publish their stories online, they have an infinite amount of space for stories. This results in a constant quest for the newest and latest story, even if the story is basically information about an advertisement. 

Bloggers also write posts such as “Top 20 Viral Ads” of the year. Read that again slowly. It’s an advertisement for a story about advertisements. 

Holiday used this knowledge to his advantage and “leaked" American Apparel ads to bloggers, giving his company free publicity instead of having to pay for online ads to get exposure. 

Companies often leak movie trailers, info about new products, or a song from an upcoming album to generate buzz and free publicity. Many celebrities often leak their nude photos or sex tapes to gain popularity and followers if there haven’t been any recent interesting stories about them.

As a reader, be careful of any story that has the word ‘leak’ in it.

2) You Get What You Pay For

“A subscription model...offers necessary subsidies to the nuance that is lacking in the kind of stories that flourish in one-off distribution. Opposing views can now be included. Uncertainty can be acknowledged. Humanity can be allowed. Since articles don’t have to spread on their own, but rather as part of the unity...publishers do not need to exploit valence to drive single-use buyers. 
”

— Page 81

As the saying goes, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, or in this case, free news. 

Journalist and publishers need to make a living, this means they need to make money. Some companies, such as the New York Times, do this through a subscription model. The advantage of this is that people don’t buy the newspaper once, but rather but a collection of papers. Doing so reduces the need for clickbait headlines that one-off distribution publications require.  

The subscription model also provides a steady stream of revenue, which allows writers to publish stories with opposing views so that readers get opinions from both sides of the topic. 

The other revenue model is to make money from advertisers instead of readers. The downside of free news is that the publisher tries to get as many eyeballs as possible because they rely on stories of immediacy and impulsive, even if the story is distorted or not fully factual. If a story isn’t factual, it won’t be removed, but rather it will be updated. Thus, two stories are born out of a one. 

These publishers focus on news that will take people to an extreme, it will likely make readers angry or excited. It aims to create viral content and focuses on topics such as sex, scandals, betrayal, crime, and controversies. 

If no new stories are being written, they will publish almost anything even if it’s a company’s press release of a new product. They will write stories about ads, or articles on already existing stories. Often times, they will write an article about which products the reader should buy and have links to the products in the article. Thus making money from ads and affiliate links. 

Holiday points out that a subscription model isn’t perfect, but it is more factual and harder to manipulate than free news. 

3) Watch Out For ‘Possible’ News

“No blog wants to be embarrassingly wrong, so instead of standing behind embarrassing stories resulting from their silly approach to journalism, blogs duck behind qualifiers: “We’re hearing…”; “I wonder…”; “Possibly…”; “Lots of buzz that…”; “Sites are reporting…””

— Page 170

All of the qualifiers described above are basically saying this story is possible, but the facts and evidence are yet to be found. Essentially, it is a story that may not even be true, also known as a rumor. 

Here’s an example of such a story that Holiday found:

“After weeks of escalating buzz about a New York Times piece that would reveal a “bombshell” scandal about New York Governor David Paterson, Business Insider is reporting that the story will likely come out tomorrow and will be followed by the governor’s resignation. Though the nature of the revelation is still a mystery, reports are that this story is “much worse” than Paterson’s publicly acknowledged affair with a state employee.” - Page 170

He calls it Covering Your Ass 101. Every sentence talks about what might happen. Later on, it turned out the events in the story did not happen and the post was updated, essentially giving the blog two stories for the price of one. 

Readers should look for facts in stories, especially if it is a blog post. Avoid an article if it says rumors, lots of buzz, likely, or other qualifiers. Look for legitimate evidence, facts, or first-hand reports. 

Conclusion:

This is one of the rare books that almost anyone who reads it, will learn something new. I’d highly recommend it if you work in news, marketing, or consume a lot of online content. You'll find out just how easily blogs can be manipulated and learn what to look out for when reading blog posts. Holiday also teaches readers how they can use the dark art of manipulation for their own products and services. Having read multiple books by Ryan Holiday, I believe this one is his best book so far. 

Rating: 4.5/5 Stars
 

If you’re interested in getting the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Trust Me, I’m Lying’ by Ryan Holiday
• Pages: 352
• For: People who want to understand how blogs & other media work, and how it affects our society
• Lesson: Learn about the power of blogs, and how even established media companies can be manipulated by a single individual

Related Ryan Holiday articles here:

• Perennial Seller
• Ego Is The Enemy

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"The Forgotten Highlander" by Alistair Urquhart

Summary:

“The Forgotten Highlander” (2010) by Alistair Urquhart is a war memoir recounting the incredible World War II story of survival in the Pacific as a prisoner of war. Born in Scotland, Alistair was drafted into the army during WWII and shipped to the British outpost of Singapore. The Japanese soon invaded the colony and the British soldiers became prisoners of war (POWs). As a POW, Alistair was forced into slave labor on the notorious “Death Railway”, working up to 18 hours a day and while being fed only one cup of rice a day.

He worked barefoot with barely any clothes and suffered from malaria, dysentery, and tropical ulcers (Google at your own discretion). He often worked seven days a week from dawn to dusk and experienced several beatings and even a sexual advancement from a guard–that he fought off.

Miraculously, Alistair survived 750 days of labor in the jungle. He was then put on a Japanese “hell ship” that was torpedoed and sunk by an American submarine. Adrift on a small raft, he spent five days alone out on the open seas. He was picked up by a Japanese ship and sent to work in a coal mine. That mine was located near Nagasaki, Japan (Yes, this is a true story). When the atomic bomb was dropped, Alistair could feel the hot wind from the explosion. A few days later, the U.S. military arrived and freed Alistair along with the other prisoners.

On the ship home, Alistair showered for the first time in three and a half years and weighed himself. He lost 53 pounds and was a living skeleton at 82 pounds, but he was alive and glad to finally go home.

Author Alistair Urquhart.

Lessons:

1) Survival Depends on Willpower

“‘It’s easy for these men to give up and when they lose hope the fight just seeps right out of them. On countless occasions I have seen two men with the same symptoms and same physical state, and one will die and one will make it. I can only put that down to sheer willpower.’”

— Page 170

In the death camp, life for prisoners was unbelievably horrific. POWs worked 18 hours a day, 7 days a week. They were given only a cup of water and cup of rice as their meal for the entire day. The rice often contained maggots, lice, flies or other insects. However, it was all that was given.

Prisoners constantly got sick and contracted malaria, ringworm, tropical ulcers, and other diseases. In this horrible state, it’s not surprising that many people gave up on life. With no end in sight, many wished for a bullet to their head to end their suffering.

Alistair’s will to live meant doing anything that would increase his chances of survival. This meant putting maggots on his legs to eat the dead flesh caused by an ulcer to prevent it from becoming fatal. Although it may sound disgusting, the tactic worked and Alistair’s wounds healed within a few days.

2) Take Life One Day At A Time

“I didn’t allow myself to think of home. All I could do was think about the next day and how I would face it. I was psyching myself to make it through another day of hell and torture. To think of home was too much. It brought me down.”

— Page 216

Life at times can be extremely difficult. For Alistair, this meant long hours of physical labor with almost no food. Similarly, for the average person, it means long hours of office work with little time to eat. Everyone experiences a period of life in which every day seems to be torture.

When such a time comes, it’s best to take life one day at a time. Focus on the present moment, and identify what needs to be done. For Alistair, he was so focused on staying alive, this meant eating whatever food possible, even when he got a cup of rice with flies and weevils inside.

Don’t worry about next week or three months down the road, just focus on getting through today. Tough times don’t last, but tough people do.

Even as skeletons, these prisoners were forced to work eighteen-hour shifts.

3) Be Grateful For What You Have

“Our eyes widened in disbelief and our taste buds went into overdrive. We drooled as we friend up the eggs and stared in amazement at them bubbling in the pan, the sizzling sound a symphony to our ears. The familiar smell had us dancing around with excitement. Never, ever did a fried egg taste so good and every succulent mouthful was made to last.”

— Page 101

As POWs, prisoners were feed last and not given any options. This usually resulted in a daily cup of plain rice or rice balls. Each plain rice every day, day after day, week after week is absolutely mind-numbing.

Yet this is the scenario Alistair found himself in. However, one of his friends managed to get his hands on an egg. Such a small discovery, made Alistair and his friends dance with excitement as this egg tasted better than any other.

It’s moments like these that should remind people to be grateful for everything they have. Even if you live in a tiny apartment and have a shower without hot water, at least you aren’t sharing a room with twenty men and with no shower at all. This lesson is quite similar to a quote nine from Marcus Aurelius’ book “The Emperor’s Handbook.”

 

Conclusion:

This book is an incredible tale of the human spirit and what man is capable of doing when pushed to his limits. It’s also a sad story because readers learn about the evil things people are capable of doing. On a lighter note, the story does teach readers to be grateful for what they have in their lives, even if it’s not much. It always shows that tough times don’t last, but tough people do.

I found this book to be very similar to “Man’s Search for Meaning.” Both were prisoners of war and suffered horrendously during their imprisonment. However, both men were mentally strong and managed to survive to tell their story.

Both books are great, but if I could only recommend one, I’d have to go with Viktor Frankl’s book since as a psychiatrist, he’s able to talk about his journey in scientific terms and dive deeper into why people can be both good and evil. Nonetheless, if you are looking for a war memoir that will keep you hooked on every page, “The Forgotten Highlander” is worth reading. 

Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

If you’re interested in getting the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “The Forgotten Highlander” by Alistair Urquhart
• Pages: 320
• For: People who want to know about the conditions POW faced during WWII
• Lesson: Learn about the incredible journey of survival from one of the worst POW scenarios possible

You can also watch a documentary about Alistair Urquhart here.

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"The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan

Summary:

"The ONE Thing" (2013) is written by Gary Keller, the co-founder and chairman of the largest real estate company in the US, and by Jay Papasan, the executive editor and vice-president of publishing at Keller Williams Realty.

The title of the book refers to identifying and accomplishing the single most important task in one’s life at each moment of their life, and then moving on to the next one thing. Everyone has limited time and energy so by focusing on the single most important task at that moment, a person can achieve extraordinary results.

Authors of "The ONE Thing" Gary Keller and Jay Papasan (image source).

The book helps readers discover their most important goal and gives them tools for managing time to be as efficient and effective as possible. The book also disproves common work-related myths such as multi-tasking, and provides a new set of guidelines to follow. At the end of each chapter, the authors restate key information and give actionable insight to readers.

Towards the end of the book, Gary and Jay give advice on how to live life with priority, purpose, and productivity, without having the other areas of life get out of balance.

Lessons:

1) Everything is NOT Equal

“When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal. We become active and busy, but this doesn’t actually move us any closer to success. Activity is often unrelated to productivity, and busyness rarely takes care of business.”

— Page 33

One of the first lessons readers learn is that not all tasks matter equally and that success doesn’t come from doing the most, yet that is exactly what most people believe. For example, promotions aren’t handed out to the person that sends the most emails, but rather the person who achieves the best results.

Achievers focus on the essential. They pause before working to identify what matters and then get to work. Achievers always have a clear sense of priority even as new tasks are added. They are able to identify their tasks, and then narrow their focus on the most important thing, knowing that that task will achieve the greatest result.

This isn’t just a theory, it’s backed by Pareto’s Principle, also known as the 80/20 Principle. It proves that a minority of the inputs usually leads to a majority of the results (ex. 80% of a company’s revenue comes from 20% of its clients). In other words, a large amount of the results comes from a small amount of effort. This inequality of effort can be found in wealth distribution, employee output, and almost every aspect of work.

So instead of having a to-do list which is long and cluttered. Have a success list, a short list that aims at accomplishing the top five tasks and then focus on the most important one.

2) Multitasking is a Lie

“When you try to do two things at once, you either can’t or won’t do either well. If you think multitasking is an effective way to get more done, you’ve got it backward. It’s an effective way to get less done. As Steve Uzzell said, ‘Multitasking is merely the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.’”

— Page 44

The authors write that people can do two or more things at once, such as walk and talk or read a map, but people can’t focus on two things at once. This is an important difference. When someone attempts to multitask, what they are actually doing is bouncing their attention back and forth between two tasks.

This is known as “task switching.”

When switching between easy tasks such as watching television and folding clothes, it is relatively quick and painless. However, if someone is working on a sophisticated Excel spreadsheet and a co-worker comes in to discuss a business problem, the complexity of the tasks will make it almost impossible to easily jump back and forth.

Switching tasks also increases the chance of being distracted since the brain isn’t focused on anything during the switching period. By focusing on two tasks, attention becomes divided and as more tasks come into play, attention drops lower and lower.

Researchers have found that multitasking is ineffective, causes more stress, and takes longer to accomplish tasks. Even talking on the phone while driving can take up to 40% percent of a person’s focus, the same effect as being drunk.

When you find your one thing, give it your absolute attention and don’t multitask, this will lead to real results.

 

3) Good Habits Equals Good Life

“When we know something that needs to be done but isn’t currently getting done, we often say, ‘I just need more discipline.’ Actually, we need the habit of doing it. And we need just enough discipline to build the habit.”

— Page 55

Habits make the daily activities of life easier since the task has been repeated so many times it can be done with minimal effort in an autopilot like state. The secret then is to make the hard stuff into habits so that it will become easier (ex. Going to the gym for the first time is hard, going to the gym for a bodybuilder is easy).

Doing the same task over and over again will eventually lead to a moment when it becomes automatic or ingrained in the person’s life. Although some self-help circles claim 21 days is the secret number of days needed, the authors say that modern science doesn’t back that up.

Instead, research shows that it takes an average of 66 days to acquire a new habit.

Researchers also found evidence of a halo effect around habit creation. Students who successfully acquired one positive habit reported less stress, better diets, and even consumed less alcohol and tobacco. By focusing and achieving one positive habit, it will become easier to develop the next one.

There’s a great quote in the book that says, “People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” Strive to create the best habits possible so that you create the best future possible for yourself.

Conclusion:

When I first heard of this book I wasn’t fond of it because of its click-bait title and get-rich-quick vibe. However, a friend strongly recommended reading this book, and since I trusted him, I bought a copy. I’m glad I listened.

The book provides advice, backed by scientific studies, on how to be more productive and effective. It will teach you how to prioritize tasks, manage time, build good habits, use willpower properly, set goals and more. The authors also provide readers will additional tools and information at their website here. I highly recommend reading this book if you want to be more productive and improve your quality of life.

Rating: 5/5 Stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: "The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan
• Pages: 240
• For: People who want to become better at managing their time and be more productive
• Lesson: Learn how to manage your time efficiently and effectively, achieve more, and find greater clarity in your career and life

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