"Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge

Summary:

“Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge is a book aimed to help men rediscover their masculine self with guidance from the Bible. The book also invites women to discover the secret of a man’s soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer.

John Eldredge is a bestselling author, a counselor, and a teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God, recover their own hearts in God’s love, and learn to live in God’s kingdom. 

This book is similar to Jordan Peterson’s “12 Rules for Life” since both books examine biblical scripture and extract life lessons from the Bible that can be applied to modern-day situations. The book is also similar to “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Glover because it encourages men to be good guys instead of nice guys. 
 

Lessons:

1)  The 3 Things That Men Desire

“There are three desires I find written so deeply into my heart I know now I can no longer disregard them without losing my soul...I search the pages of literature, I listen carefully to many, many men, and I am convinced these desires are universal, a clue into masculinity itself. They may be misplaced, forgotten, or misdirected, but in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”

— Page 9

Eldredge writes that the desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue, are the three things that men desire most. 

He argues that aggression is part of the masculine design and that men are hardwired for it. In the bible it even says that “the LORD is a warrior; the LORD is his name” (Ex. 15:3). Even as kids, boys want to play war and attack something–whether it be another person or an object like a ball.

The desire to battle can also be found in books and movies. In almost every famous film, the main character has to fight something or someone to become a hero (ex. Braveheart, Top Gun, Gladiator). 

The desire for an adventure to live is also part of being a hero in one’s own life. “Adventure requires something of us, puts us to the test,” says the author. In every James Bond and Indiana Jones film, the main character goes on an adventure that tests them as a man and makes them stronger afterward. Men are made to go into the unknown and conquer it.

A man’s last desire is to find a beauty to rescue. Romeo has Juliet, King Arthur had Guinevere and Robin Hood had Maid Marian.

Eldredge writes that for a beautiful woman, men will storm the castle, slay the dragon–or in modern times, hit a game-winning shot. “A man wants to be the hero to the beauty. Young men going off to war carry a photo of their sweetheart in their wallet” writes the author. What a man really wants, Eldredge says, is to be a hero to the person he loves. 
 

2) Heal Your Wounds

“There are no formulas with God. The way in which God heals our wound is a deeply personal process. He is a person and he insists on working personally. For some, it comes in a moment of divine touch. For others, it takes place over time and through the help of another, maybe several others.”

— Page 127

No man will go through life without facing any battles, whether it be physical or spiritual. Often times these battles will result in some kind of wounds. These wounds can take a variety of forms such as anger issues, rejection, breakups, or failure. 

Many men carry deep wounds, but no one sees it because the cut is spiritual and men will bury it deep inside and never take it out. However, Eldredge argues that the only way to heal the wound is to take it out, or better yet enter it. 

When it comes to healing the wound, Eldredge writes that Christ never used the same method twice. In the bible, he spits on the ground to make mud and heals the person by putting the mud on their eyes, to another person Christ simply speaks and the person is healed, and to another Christ touches him and he is healed. Every man carries a wound that is unique to them and they must find their own way to heal it. Once healed, the man will be stronger than ever before. 
 

 

3) Stop Sabotaging Yourself

“Sabotage also happens when we give our strength away. Taking a bribe, letting yourself be bought off, accepting flattery in exchange for some sort of loyalty, is sabotage. Refusing to confront an issue because if you keep quiet you’ll get a promotion or be made an elder or keep your job corrupts you down deep.”

— Page 146

Eldredge says that within each person, there is a civil war going on. Just as God fights the devil, man must fight the traitor within them that tells them to do the wrong things. As the quote says, taking a bribe or refusing to confront an issue are forms of sabotage that chip away at a man’s masculinity.

Instead, men should choose to live out their strength and purpose the right decision. Men should not run away from their problems–they should face them head-on. Men do not let people take advantage of them–they stand up for themselves and those that cannot defend themselves.

As mentioned earlier, men have a desire to go to battle. However, some of the toughest battles a man will face, are the battles inside of them. Go to battle with the things that are trying to sabotage your soul and defeat them. That is the role of a masculine man.
 

Conclusion:

Before reading this book, I had never heard of John Eldredge or any of his other work. However, I decided to take a chance–no risk, no reward I thought. It was a good choice. The book is about 200 pages and is easy to read. 

There are plenty of insightful lessons that readers will learn from reading this book, such as the three things men desire, the three things women desire, the role of adventure in life, the role that men and women play in each other’s lives, and what men need to do to feel alive.

If you’re a fan of “12 Rules for Life “ by Peterson or “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Glover, I highly recommend reading this book. I would also recommend this book to young adults and men that are of Christian/Catholic faith. Even if you aren’t religious, you can still view the Bible as literature and learn several lessons from Eldredge about the masculinity and the role men play in life.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge

• Pages: 221 

• For: Young men, Jordan Peterson fans, Christian men, men that are bored with life

• Lesson: Learn what is needed to grow from a boy to a man and recover your masculine role

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"The Gulag Archipelago" by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Summary:

“The Gulag Archipelago” by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn is a non-fictional account about the Soviet forced labor camps that led to the imprisonment, brutalization and very often murder of tens of millions of innocent Soviet citizens by their own Government. 

Originally released as a three-volume book, but also available in an authorized abridged version, the book won the 1970 Nobel Prize in Literature. The book was also called the “Best nonfiction book of the 20th century” by Time. 

Solzhenitsyn (1918-2008) was a decorated captain in the Soviet Army during World War II, but in 1945, he was sent to prison for criticizing Stalin in private letters. While in prison, he observed the prisoners, guards, and everyone in between to discover how everyone played a role in contributing to the creation of Soviet prison camps.  

Author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Lessons:

1) Soviet Society Was Built To Fail
 

“Our decision even ran counter to our material interest: at that time the provincial university we attended could not promise us anything more than the chance to teach in a rural school in a remote area for miserly wages. The NKVD school dangled before us special rations and double or triple pay. ”

— Page 74

The NKVD was a Soviet government agency that was tasked with conducting regular police work and overseeing the country's prisons and labor camps. Although Solzhenitsyn and others did their best to refuse to go to NKVD school, this route paid double or triple what would be earned had they went to and graduated from a regular university. 

Students were also told that joining the NKVD was an honorable task because it would help fight the struggle against the internal enemy. Stalin, as the leader of Soviet Russia, believed he had many enemies–even in his own country, and wanted all of his enemies to be declared guilty in the court. To incentivize officers to catch more criminal, officers were given pay bonuses, awards and promotions for processing and condemning criminals. On the other hand, officers that had low numbers of convicted criminals were fired. 

This set of incentives not only resulted in officers arresting citizens for almost any crime, no matter how little but once arrested, integrators used any method possible to have the person admit they were guilty. 

Through interviews with former victims and officers, Solzhenitsyn learned that the NKVD deprived people of sleep and water, undressed them, lied to them, and even tortured them with a machine that squeezed their fingernails until it fell off. And although Stalin had issued no direct instructions to use torture–he wanted his hands to be clean if anything went south–at the same time he had ensured that torture would be used.
 

2) Arrested For Even The Smallest Mistake

“The children in a collective farm club got out of hand, had a fight, and accidentally knocked some poster or other off the wall with their backs. The two eldest were sentenced...children from the age of twelve on had fill criminal responsibility for all crimes! They also sentenced the parents for having allegedly told them to and sent them to do it. ”

— Page 240

Take a moment and reread that quote. Two children and their parents were sent to jail for accidentally knocking down a poster (of Stalin or Lenin) and were sent to jail. 

As mentioned in the previous lesson, because of the incentives given to officers were so strong and those who made little arrests were punished, this created a society where people could get arrested for the smallest infraction.

A deaf carpenter was sentenced to jail for ten years for hanging his jacket on a bust of Lenin. A shepherd was sent to jail for calling his cow a whore. Yes, not at a police officer, but at his own cow and got a prison term for it. 

There was also Irina Tuchinskaya who was arrested while leaving a church. She was charged with having “prayed in church for the death of Stalin.” How can anyone hear a silent prayer? Apparently, Soviet officers can. She was sent to jail for 25 years. 

However, the people described above were the lucky ones. Many Soviet citizens were executed for their crimes.

Six peasants who had given almost all of their hay to the communist party, had a little hay left that they wanted to give to their cows, were all given the sentence of execution for not handing everything last piece of the crop over. 

In another scenario, a hungry fourteen-year-old girl named Lida was walking down the street and picked up a few grains from the dusty road that spilled from a truck. She was sentenced to jail for three years.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn after his release from camp.

3) 10 Factors That Led To A Corrupt Society  

According to Solzhenitsyn, there were many things that contributed to the rise of slave-labor camps and a corrupt state, but here are his main ten ideas:

• 1) Constant Fear: Government officers were constantly arresting and interrogating citizens to rat out their neighbors or anyone that they may believe could be an enemy of the state. This led to a state of constant fear where even innocent people could be arrested.

• 2) Servitude: Citizens of Soviet Russia couldn’t simply pack up their bags and leave this crazy state because houses couldn’t be sold, exchanged or rented. Property belonged to the state, not the individual. In addition, the majority of the population had little savings with most of their tied to their property.

• 3) Secrecy and Mistrust: Since people couldn’t leave Soviet Russia, they had to be as secretive as possible because they did not want to be arrested and didn’t know who was an informant and who was a friend. To the Soviet citizen, being secretive was necessary to their survival.

• 4) Universal Ignorance: Since the Soviet people didn’t trust one another, no one spoke to anyone and no one talked about the millions of arrests that were being made in the country. And since no one talked, the only new information came from government officials who rarely spoke the truth.

• 5) Squealing: To arrest more people, Security officers constantly recruited city dwellers to become informers. Solzhenitsyn estimates that out of every four to five city dwellers, there would almost be one who had received a proposal to become an informer.

A map of Russia that shows the location of slave-labor camps throughout the country.

• 6) Betrayal as a Form of Existence: Living in a state of constant fear (both literally and figuratively) the least dangerous form of existence, says Solzhenitsyn, was constant betrayal. If Alek’s factory co-worker, a man who had worked with him for 20 years was convicted of being an enemy of the state, the next person Officers would be investigate was Alek. Anyone who had a friendship with an enemy would also be an enemy of the state. Thus, the only way to survive would be to betray your friends and tell the government what they wanted to hear.

• 7) Corruption: Living in a state of constant fear, where one has to betray their friends to survive, the country swelled up with corruption. Solzhenitsyn estimates that ⅓ of all convictions came from people that weren’t willing, to tell the truth, and instead lied as witnesses.

• 8) The Lie as a Form of Existence: Not only did adults have to lie to survive, but so did children. Parents had to decide whether to teach children the truth, which would put them at risk of being arrested or teach them to lie as a child, which would increase their chances of surviving but would produce future generations of corrupt citizens.

• 9) Cruelty: In a society built on lies, corruption, and betrayal, there was only room for cruelty. Solzhenitsyn writes that kindness, mercy, and pity were all ridiculed in the Soviet state.

• 10) Slave Psychology: Solzhenitsyn says that in several parts of the country, there were sculptures of guards with a police dog straining forward in order to sink its teeth into someone. People become so accustomed to this new corrupt state, they did not shudder at the sight of these statues. Setting dogs onto people became the norm, even on the country’s own citizens. The people of Soviet Russia were no longer free citizens, but rather, they became slaves in their own country.

Conclusion:

“The Gulag Archipelago” is a horrible book. Not horrible as in poorly written or unbelievably boring, but horrible as in, “I can’t believe this book is nonfiction and these horrible events actually happened in life.”

It took me roughly two months to finish this book because at times I had to put this book down either to completely absorb the atrocities that happened or to wonder in disbelief just how evil humans could be.

That said, this is a book I think everyone should read. 

Why? 

Because if I had to summarize the book in one sentence it is that, society becomes corrupt from individuals becoming corrupt and not standing up for what’s right. This is a lesson everyone should know and remember. Viktor Frankl learned a similar lesson from his experience in the Holocaust camps when he said, man is both the person that invented the gas chambers and the person that entered them.

Society is made up of individuals, and as individuals, it is our duty to uphold positive values (trust, honor, freedom) that will move society upwards and avoid negative values (betrayal, lying, ignorance).

Rating: 5/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “The Gulag Archipelago” by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

• Pages: 528

• For: People interested in learning about Soviet Russia, psychology of corruption and slave labor camps

• Lesson: Learn how a country falls apart when its leaders and citizens become corrupt

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"Negotiation Genius" by Malhotra & Bazerman

Summary:

“Negotiation Genius” (2007) was written by Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman–two leaders in executive education at Harvard Business School that have a proven track record in the field of negotiation.

Whether you’re a beginner or experienced salesperson, this book will dramatically improve your negotiating skills. The book draws on decades of behavioral research plus the experience of thousands of business clients. The authors take the mystery out of preparing for and executing negotiations—whether they involve multimillion-dollar deals or improving your next salary offer.

“Negotiation Genius” provides readers with detailed strategies that work in the real world even when the other side is hostile, unethical, or more powerful. When you finish it, you will already have an action plan for your next negotiation. You will know what to do and why. You will also begin building your own reputation as a negotiation genius.

Authors Max Bazerman (left) & Deepak Malhotra (right).

Lessons:

1)  Always Know Your BATNA

“You need to assess your BATNA, or best alternative to negotiated agreement–the course of action you will pursue if and when the current negotiation ends in an impasse. Without a clear understanding of your BATNA, it is impossible to know when to accept a final offer and when to walk away in order to pursue other options. ”

— Page 20

Determine your BATNA is the first step in any negotiation because you have to ask yourself, what will do you if the current negotiation ends in no deal? Your BATNA is the reality you will face if you reach no deal in the current negotiation. 

For example, let’s imagine you are selling a large piece of land. If the new owner keeps it residential, the property will be worth around $36-44 million, but if the land is turned into a commercial business, it will be worth between $40-48 million. 

You receive one offer from a buyer for $42 million that says he will make residential buildings on the property. The other buyer says he doesn’t yet know whether he will make it residential or commercial and would like to negotiate a price.

In this scenario, your BATNA is $42 million. If the second buyer offers anything lower than 42m, you simply walk away. If the buyer matches the offer, you still have the option of walking away. 

Since the property has the potential to be worth between $40-48 million, this becomes your ZOPA–zone of possible agreement. If you’re able to negotiate a price in the ZOPA that is higher than your BATNA, such as $44 million, you should take it, if not you’re free to walk away. 
 

2) Don’t just ask what–ask why

“Negotiators tend to spend most of their own speaking time telling others what they themselves want or need. Unfortunately, this approach–find out what each side wants–often derails negotiations. The reason: too much focus on what people want distracts your attention from discovering why they want it.”

— Page 85

The authors point out a common mistake made by negotiators–asking what but not asking why. It may sound reasonable to listen to the other side to find out what they want, but that is only part of the battle. 

Sometimes in a negotiation, there is no room for compromise on what they want, but a clear solution can emerge when the focus is shifted to why they want it. 

Deepak tells a story of his wife trying to hail a cab on a cold winter Boston night. It was rush hour and dozens of cabs were all occupied. When she spotted an empty cab, she ran after it but there was a problem. The cab didn’t have his “for hire” light on. Deepak’s wife asked for a ride anyway, as expected, the cab driver said no. 

However, Deepak’s wife asked the cab driver why he would not take her. The driver explained that his shift was over and he was heading home. Deepak’s wife asked which direction the cab driver was heading home, and it turned out his destinations was only a few blocks away from hers. She jumped in the cab and the driver drove off. The driver made a few extra bucks while Deepak’s wife got her ride home, a win for both sides. 

Remember to ask why people want something, and not just what. 

 

3) Make Multiple Offers Simultaneously  

“Making multiple offers simultaneously is a great tactic for other reasons as well. Not only does it allow you to discover the interests of reticent negotiators, but it also allows you to anchor more strongly and to simultaneously come across as flexible.
”

— Page 102

This is a tactic not many negotiators may know about, but it an extremely useful strategy. Giving multiple offers gives you the chance to make two offers that you like, and it gives more options to the other side. 

It will also show you what aspect of the deal the other side is more focused on–this goes back to what they want and why. The book uses the example of giving a real estate broker two contracts to sell a home. The broker can either choose: 2.5% commission and have 3 months to sell the house or 3.5% commission and have two months to sell the house. 

This also works great with siblings when splitting up chores. For example, I’ll ask my sister if she wants to vacuum the house or Swiffer the floors, and I’ll do the other task. This method is a lot better than just saying vacuum the house and I’ll Swiffer because it comes across as more flexible to the other person and makes it seem as they have more freedom in the decision. 

 

Conclusion:

“Negotiation Genius” is an absolutely spectacular book. As a graduate business student, I have read several books about sales and closing deals, but nothing comes close to this book. It is shorter and easier to understand than any textbook on the subject, and cheaper too. 

Even if you aren’t a business student, there is a ton that can be learned from this book since negotiation plays an aspect in multiple areas of one's life. A person can negotiate the price of fruit at the market, the salary at a new job, or the apartment chores with their roommate. 

The book also covers key lessons such as negotiation from a position of weakness, ethical dilemmas in negotiating, and negotiating with an irrational person. 

The book is about 350 pages long, but the authors use a lot of interesting real-world examples that keep readers engaged chapter after chapter.

Rating: 5/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Negotiation Genius” by Deepak Malhotra and Max Bazerman
• Pages: 343
• For: People who work in sales, deals, or similar business fields
• Lesson: Learn the essential strategies needed to become a negotiation expert

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"On Writing" by Stephen King

Summary:

“On Writing” by Stephen King is part memoir and part master class. For those unfamiliar with King, he is the author of more than fifty books, all of them worldwide bestsellers.

This book details King’s writing career and covers everything from his childhood to selling Carrie. The book is also filled with writing lessons and teaches the importance of narration, dialogue, and description. King even writes about finding an agent and ways to get work published. It’s an immensely helpful and illuminating book to any aspiring writer.

Author Stephen King working on his craft.

Lessons:

1) Good Writers Are Avid Reader

“If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There’s no way around these two things that I’m aware of, no shortcut. I’m a slow reader, but I usually get through seventy or eighty books a year.”

— Page 145

Reading a lot will make you a better writer, this is a common theme among successful writers (see Hemingway’s list of recommended books here). King writes that he reads 70-80 books a year, that a bit more than one book a week–and that is the speed of a “slow reader.” I read 35 books last year, so I guess I read at a half-King pace.

Anyhow, King writes that every book has its own lessons, and quite often, bad books have more to teach than the good ones. By reading bad prose, one learns more clearly what not to write. King goes as so far to say that “Reading bad prose...is worth a semester at a good writing school, even with the superstar guest lecturers thrown in” (pg 146).

Good writing, on the other hand, teaches style, narration, plot development, the creation of believable characters, and more. And for writers that don’t have time to read, King writes “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time to write” (pg 147).

2) Practice, Practice, Practice

“It was all going to be rehearsal. That’s no good. If there’s no joy in it, it’s just no good. It’s best to go on to some other area, where the deposits of talent may be richer and the fun quotient higher. ”

— Page 150

In this paragraph, King is talking about his son Owen who wanted to learn how to play the saxophone. King bought Owen a saxophone for Christmas and hired a local musician to teach Owen the basics. It turns out, Owen only practiced when the instructor came around and didn’t play the saxophone during his own free time. King noticed this and asked Owen if he wanted to stop taking lessons and Owen agreed. 

King applies the same attitude towards writing. Those who want to become writers should view writing not as a chore, but rather as a joyful activity that they don’t want to stop doing. 

King advocates for a strong reading and writing program of “four to six hours a day, every day” (pg 150). Personally, King considers the morning to be his prime writing time and writes every day including Christmas, the Fourth of July, and his birthday.  

King advises writers to find a humble space free of distractions such as telephones, TV, or video games. For young writers, it’s best to eliminate every possible distraction. As writers become more advanced, they can alter the way they work, King, for instance, listens to hard-rock music like Guns N Roses and Metallica while writing. And once you find your writing space, it’s time to close the door and get to work.
 

 

3) Symbolism Is Like Digging Up A Fossil 

“If you can go along with the concept of the story as a pre-existing thing, a fossil in the ground, then symbolism must also be pre-existing, right? Just another bone in your new discovery That’s if it’s there. If it isn’t, so what? You’ve still got the story itself, don’t you?”

— Page 162

When King first wrote Carrie, he noticed there was plenty of blood in the story, but never once stopped to think that the blood was created with an intentional symbolic meaning. 

However, while working on the second draft of the story, King started to play around with the idea, image, and emotional connotations of blood. Blood played a role in all three crucial points in Carrie and used the symbolic meaning of blood to enhance the story.

But as with all things in this world, writers should be careful not to use it too much. Rather, symbolism is like digging for a fossil. If you dig around but don’t find anything, move on. If you dig around and do find part of a fossil, it’s best to keep digging until the fossil has been uncovered. 

Conclusion:

If you’re looking to learn about Stephen King’s writing career and a few writing lessons along the way, “On Writing” is a fantastic book. However, if you’re looking for just a book about sharpening your craft, you may want to pass on this book if you’re an intermediate or advanced writer.

The book is a little less than 300 pages long, but if you take out the memoir section, it’s roughly 100 pages that focus on writing skills. It would also been great to have clear-cut lessons and tips for readers and the end of each chapter.

With that said, respect must be paid to the king, he is a spectacular writer. The book flows unbelievably well and is easy to read and understand. If you’re an aspiring writer or just starting out, definitely read this book.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “On Writing” by Stephen King
• Pages: 288
• For: Aspiring writers who want to learn about King’s career and improve their own writing
• Lesson: Learn writing secrets from legendary writer Stephen King  

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6 Profound Quotes from "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson

Summary:

Since discovering Jordan Peterson's YouTube channel last year, I've become completely amazed by the amount of incredible information produced by this single individual. His book, "12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos" is the first book that I've ever pre-ordered in my entire life, and I've bought roughly 100 books in the last three years. 

I've already written one article about "12 Rules for Life" but this book holds so much valuable information that I had to write another. 

For those unfamiliar with Dr. Peterson, here is a quick intro.

Jordan B. Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist, cultural critic, and professor of psychology. He has taught at Harvard and the University of Toronto. Dr. Peterson specializes in personality psychology with a particular interest in the psychology of religious and ideological beliefs. He’s published more than a hundred scientific papers, transforming the modern understanding of personality, while his textbook, Maps of Meaning, revolutionized the psychology of religion.

In the past few years, Dr. Peterson has become one of the world’s most popular public thinkers due to his YouTube lectures–which has over 1 million subscribers– where he describes the deep connections between neuroscience, psychology and some of the oldest stories told by mankind.

Author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.

In his book, 12 Rules for Life, Peterson discusses discipline, courage, and the necessity of clear, truthful thinking in order to live properly within the order and chaos of our lives.

Here are 6 profound quotes from his book. 

 

6)

“To stand up straight with your shoulders back is to accept the terrible responsibility of life, with eyes wide open. It means deciding to voluntarily transform the chaos of potential into the realities of habitable order. It means adopting the burden of self-conscious vulnerability, and accepting the end of the unconscious paradise of childhood...It means willingly undertaking the sacrifices necessary to generate a productive and meaningful reality.”

— Page 27

This quote is from the first chapter of Peterson’s book (some may call it the lobster chapter), where Dr. Peterson discusses an important life lesson that can be learned from these sea-dwelling creatures. 

To start, lobsters and humans have similar nervous systems and live in a dominance hierarchy. But what do lobsters have to do with standing up straight? Well, humans and lobsters share the chemical serotonin, which governs posture. When a lobster is defeated in a fight, its posture drops, it faces the ground and appears weak to others. The same thing happens to humans, and with each defeat, serotonin levels drop and so does our posture.

If a person slouches, they present themselves as defeated. However, if a person stands up straight, it means they may have taken a hit but are not defeated.

It means that you, both physically and mentally, are able and willing to move forward in life to the next challenge. It also signals to other people that you are able to handle whatever life throws your way while you pursue your rightful destiny.

Life is not easy. There will be pain and suffering. But do not let chaos bring you down. Accept the fact that this journey will not be smooth and that no matter what happens, you will take responsibility for your life and do what you can to make it better. And when negative situations occur in life that you cannot control, you will still stand up straight and not let it bring you down.

 

5) 

“You could help direct the world, on its careening trajectory, a bit more toward heaven and a bit more away from Hell. Once having understood Hell, researched it, so to speak–particularly your own individual Hell–you could decide against going there or creating that. You could aim elsewhere. You could, in fact, devote your life to this. That would give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”

— Page 63

Everyone that is alive right now is part of this game that we call life. The stage that we have entered into as players was created, for the most part, by previous characters. No one gets to play this game forever, but each of us, no matter how big or small a role, contributes to the game.

Peterson believes our contributions can have one of two effects, it can either tilt the world up towards Heaven, or down towards Hell. 

Hell is a topic Peterson has extensively researched–for those that don’t believe in Hell on Earth, he advises people to read about Viktor Frankl’s experiences in the Holocaust camps or Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn’s time in the Soviet slave labor camps.

After having read both of those books, it’s easy to see why Peterson preaches about moving the world towards Heaven. The horrible events that happened in those books should never again occur, and we must all do our part to make sure the world is far, far away from Hell. As Peterson says, “You could, in fact, devote your life to this.” Doing so would not only be beneficial to the world, but it would also “give you a Meaning, with a capital M.”
 

4)

“When the internal critic puts you down using such comparisons, here’s how it operates: First, it selects a single, arbitrary domain of comparison. Then it acts as if that domain is the only one relevant. Then it contrasts you unfavorably with someone truly stellar, within that domain. It can take that final step even further, using the unbridgeable gap between you and its target of comparison as evidence for the fundamental injustice of life. That way your motivation to do anything at all can be most effectively undermined. ”

— Page 89

All of us have a voice inside of our heads that no matter what we do, always has something negative to say about ourselves. Peterson calls this voice the internal critic. This critic is an expert in making us unhappy by comparing our lives to others. 

Specifically, the critic operates by picking a single, arbitrary domain–say money–and then acts as if that domain is the only one that is relevant. For example, if I made $40,000 last year and my friend made twice as much, the internal critic says starts to say that I’m poor, I’m not as good, and that my life would be exponentially better if I made more money. 

However, this internal critic can be easily dismissed because its logic is flawed. Each person is a unique individual that consists of a nearly infinite number of domains. It is impossible to even compare two people once two domains are given.

The book uses the example of two employees, where person A makes more money than person B. Most people would automatically say person A has the ‘better life’. But now consider that person A finds out that his wife is having an affair, whose life is better now?

It’s impossible to truly compare the lives of two individuals. There is nothing to gain, it is simply waste of time and energy. Instead, focus on improving your own life and making it as good as possible.

"Psst, hey kid...you looking for some order and responsibility?"

3) 

“The first step, perhaps, is to take stock. Who are you? When you buy a house and prepare to live in it, you hire an inspector to list all its faults–as it is, in reality, now, not as you wish it could be. You’ll even pay him for the bad news. You need to know. You need to discover the home’s hidden flaws. You need to know whether they are cosmetic imperfections or structural inadequacies. You need to know because you can’t fix something if you don’t know it’s broken–and you’re broken. You need an inspector. The internal critic–it could play that role, if you could get it on track; if you and it could cooperate.”

— Page 93

Now that you have the internal critic under control, it is time to put it to work and use it to your advantage. The critic should the play role of an inspector examining a home. It should look at the interior and exterior imperfections and identify what can be fixed and what cannot.  

It can be tempting to skip this step, but ignoring a hole in a wall does not make it go away. The same can be said of people. Identify what areas, both physically and mentally, you may need to inspect and repair.

It can be tricky, but try to be honest with yourself without being too harsh. 

To those that may believe they are beyond repair, Jordan Peterson writes that the past is fixed, but the future is not, life can get better. Of course, not everything can be fixed tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean a person should give up. 

Instead use the internal critic to identify what “you could set in order and what you would set in order–voluntarily, without resentment, even with pleasure.” Change will require action, but it is an exchange with your future self. Work today to improve your life, and you will receive a better life for your future self. 

This may be a difficult step for people, so Peterson advises readers to start small and build their level of responsibility over time. Even doing small tasks will greatly improve one's life over time, similar to how compound interest in a savings account over time can lead to huge savings. 

I started with small tasks such as cutting down the amount of sugar I put in my tea from two teaspoons to one, and then zero, and doing at least 30 minutes of reading each morning. Have these tasks made my life perfect? Of course not, but it has paid off. I can now drink tea without sugar and still enjoy it, and so far this year I’ve read 13 books. 

So take some time to examine yourself and your life, and work on making positive changes even if the changes are small. 

 

2)

“Why refuse to specify? Because while you are failing to define success, you are also refusing to define failure, to yourself, so that if and when you fail you won’t notice, and it won’t hurt. But that won’t work! You cannot be fooled so easily–unless you have gone very far down the road! You will instead carry with you a continual sense of disappointment in your own Being and the self-contempt that comes along with that and the increasing hatred for the world that all of that generates.”

— Page 276

Just as refusing to admit there is a hole in a wall does not solve the problem, refusing to define your goals does not mean failure will be avoided. Many people refrain from identifying their goals because they don’t want to admit that they've failed. 

Also, when a goal is defined but isn’t achieved, it will likely cause the person pain because they haven't accomplished what they wanted. However, the alternative is much worse. If goals aren’t specified, the person will wander around in life with a dull ache of continued hopelessness and a vague sense of failure. 

Instead, do the opposite and list your goals anywhere you can. Download an app on your phone or just use the To-Do feature. Even better, write down your goals in a journal or notebook.

My favorite method is to use a calendar. Each night before going to bed, I write down 3 things I want to accomplish the next day. I also write down 3 things I want to accomplish that week and that month. 

It’s great because I can literally see my progress and accomplishments all in one place. If I didn’t meet a certain goal, I can always move it to a different day. I can also flip to past months and see what I’ve accomplished in prior months.

For example, I’ve been tracking how many times I work out each week. Before using my calendar, I thought I was going to the gym 5 times a week, but the truth was I was only going 3 times a week. With this new information, I started keeping track of the days I worked out and felt extremely accomplished when I looked back on my calendar and saw I worked out 5 days and had the proof in writing (If you don’t have time to go to a gym, consider making a home gym). 

Does listing your goals and not achieving them suck?

Yes.

But, it also feels great when goals are accomplished. And you have the power to achieve those goals and avoid the sucky feeling of failure by simply putting in the work. You can’t have highs without the chance of having lows, you must take the risk. Trust me, the lows won’t last forever, but the ache of hopelessness from not listing goals will. 

 

1)

“Orient yourself properly. Then–and only then–concentrate on the day. Set your sights at the Good, the Beautiful, and the True, and then focus pointedly and carefully on the concerns of each moment. Aim continually at Heaven while you work diligently on Earth. Attend fully to the future, in that manner, while attending fully to the present. Then you have the best chance of perfecting both. ”

— Page 359

There’s an old quote by Lewis Carroll that goes “If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.” So before you can take the road to help tilt the world towards Heaven, you must first orient yourself and find out exactly where you are in the world. Then, and only then, can you work on finding the right road. 

Try to take the road that will make you a good and true person, and will also make the world a more beautiful place than it is today. Once you’re on this road, pay constant attention to make sure your work on Earth (the present) is leading towards Heaven (a better future). If everyone does this to the best of their abilities, perhaps one day, there could be Heaven on Earth. 

Now wouldn’t that be wonderful? 

Thank you for reading my article. If you're interested in getting this book, click here or on the image below! 

More information about Jordan Peterson can be found below.

• Jordan Peterson Website

• Reading List

• Twitter

• Reddit

If I have failed to peak your interest in this book, consider this: for the past three years I’ve been a voracious reader and have read close to a total of 100 books, but I can say without a doubt in my mind, this book is in the top 3 best books I’ve ever read. Give it a chance.  -Alex 

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If you enjoyed reading "12 Rules for Life" I recommend reading these books:

• “The Power of Myth” by Joseph Campbell

• “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge

• “The Gulag Archipelago” by Aleksander Solzhenitsyn

• "Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

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"The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan

Summary:

“The Dragons of Eden” (1977) was written by Carl Sagan, an American scientist who specialized in astronomy and the search for extraterrestrial life. Sagan achieved worldwide recognition as an advocate for science education with his television series, Cosmos. 

He won the Pulitzer Prize for this book and it spent thirty-three weeks on the New York Times bestseller-list. The book offers to explain the evolution of the human species from the beginning of the Big Bang to our current time period. 

Sagan looks at clues from a wide variety of sciences including anthropology, biology, mythology, philosophy, and psychology to support his reasoning. He spends a great deal of the book focusing on the human brain, how it functions, and how it differs from other animals. 

Carl Sagan achieved worldwide recognition as an advocate for science education with his television series, Cosmo.

Lessons:

1) Humans are young, very young 

“It is disconcerting to find that in such a cosmic year the Earth does not condense out of interstellar matter until early September; dinosaurs emerge on Christmas Eve; flowers arise on December 28th; and men and women originate at 10:30pm on New Year’s Eve. All of recorded history occupies the last ten seconds of December 31; and the time from the waning of the Middle Ages to the present occupies little more than one second. ”

— Page 17

Carl Sagan starts his book by talking about time and the history of the universe. It may be hard to grasp just how old everything in the universe is so Sagan creates a Cosmic Calendar to better comprehend the length of time. He does this by essentially taking the ~14 billion years of time since the Big Bang occurred and scaling it onto a typical 12-month calendar. 

The calendar starts on January 1st, beginning with the Big Bang. May 1st would be the origin of the Milky Way Galaxy, and September 9th would be the origin of the solar system. Around September 25th, life starts to exist on Earth. By December 16th the first worms exist on Earth, and on December 22nd insects exist. Mammals begin to roam Earth by December 26th but it isn’t until December 31st that the first humans can be found on Earth.

However, the calendar gets even more specific. The first humans occur at ~10:30 PM on December 31st. By 11:46 PM, fire is domesticated. By 11:59:20 PM, agriculture is invented. The birth of Christ occurs at 11:59:56 PM, the Renaissance in Europe occurs at 11:59:58 PM, the current time period of man occurs at the first second of New Year’s Day. 

The reason Sagan dives deep into the Cosmic Calendar is that he is trying to show that humans are incredibly new in the scale of the universe. The universe is ~14 billion years old and modern humans have existed for a ridiculously small portion of time. Science and technology can only tell us so much about the past and our ancient ancestors weren’t developed enough to write down their history but Sagan does his best to explain the evolution of mankind through research from a wide range of sciences. 
 

2) Dragons Are Within & Around Us 

“Or does the metaphor of the serpent refer to the use of the aggressive and ritualistic reptilian component of our brain in the further evolution of the neocortex? With one exception, the Genesis account of the temptation by a reptile in Eden is the only instance in the Bible of humans understanding the language of animals. When we feared the dragons, were we fearing a part of ourselves? One way or another, there were dragons in Eden. ”

— Page 150

Halfway through the book, Sagan talks about dragons and the meaning behind the book’s title. Although dragons are mythical creatures, there are real animals that resemble dragons, one example is the Komodo dragon–a reptile that can weigh up to 300 pounds and be 10 feet in length (oh and did I mention they are venomous?). 

There's good reason that our ancestors were afraid of these dragon-like creatures. It’s no surprise that there are plenty of myths about dragons and how they terrorized and attacked humans.

Interestingly enough, Sagan points out that dragon myths aren’t just found in the Western world, but are instead a worldwide phenomenon. This may be because of dinosaurs or similar reptiles, which may have resembled dragons.

Dragons might also be a metaphor for the ‘reptile brain’ in humans, which controls our aggression and rituals. Another theory is that perhaps humans fear the dragon inside of themselves and other people.

Sagan also notes that in the story of Genesis, Adam and Eve are tempted by a reptile in Eden. Since a reptile has been the downfall of man once, it’s possible man stays away from reptiles to avoid another mistake such as the one committed by Eve. Either way, dragons can be found inside of people and the outside world. 

 

3) A Few Other Lessons

Since Sagan’s book is tightly packed with facts and information, here are some of the interesting ideas learned from his book:

• The best measure of intelligence of an organism is not the mass of the brain, but the ratio of the mass of the brain to the total mass of the organism. 
• In a diagram of brain mass versus body mass for primates, mammals, birds, fish, reptiles, and dinosaurs, Homo sapiens rank number one while dolphins rank second.
• Having a large brain compared to our body mass may be one of the reasons humans have been able to survive and rise to the top of the food chain.
• However, this gift comes with a price. Humans are the only species that experience pain during childbirth, this is due to the large skull of human babies. 
• Our brain gives us the ability to think about the future and focus on long-term benefits, but we get a lot of anxiety from it and from thinking about our inevitable end.

Conclusion:

After reading "The Dragons of Eden", it’s clear to see why this book won a Pulitzer Prize. The book is jam-packed with incredible facts and information that will require readers to take a moment to soak it all in. The book flows wonderfully and has diagrams and images to help readers better understand the text. 

The book is about 250 pages long and expertly written, so it is quite easy to read–no Ph.D. or Masters in science degree is required. However, I do wish this book had clear-cut lessons for readers at the end of each chapter to identify the key information from each chapter. 

Also, since this book was written in 1977, its safe to say that in the past 40 years someone has written a book on this topic with updated information. But, since I have yet to find that book, I’m giving Sagan a curve and ranking his book a four out of five. 

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you're interested in getting this book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: "The Dragons of Eden" by Carl Sagan
• Pages: 288
• For: People interested in learning about the evolution of mankind and the brain
• Lesson: Gain insight into the brain of man and beast, the origin of human intelligence

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"Draft No. 4" by John McPhee

Summary:

“Draft No. 4” is written by John McPhee, a staff writer at The New Yorker and author of thirty-two books. McPhee began contributing to The New Yorker in 1963. He has written more than a hundred pieces for the magazine. Prior to working at The New Yorker, he worked at Time.

He has taught at Princeton and is considered a prominent figure in creative nonfiction (fun fact: Tim Ferriss was one of McPhee’s students at Princeton).

McPhee’s book is a collection of expertly written essays from his time at The New Yorker and each chapter offers insights on the process of writing.

John McPhee, author of "Draft No. 4."

Lessons:

1) How To Properly Interview People

“Whatever you do, don’t rely on memory. Don’t even imagine that you will be able to remember verbatim in the evening what people said during the day. And don’t squirrel note in a bathroom–that is, run off to the john and write surreptitiously what someone said back there with the cocktails.”

— Page 92

When interviewing someone, McPhee advises writers to use a voice recorder instead of simply relying on memory. Sometimes after asking a question, the writer may get distracted a miss an important response from the interviewee, but with a voice recorder, they can always go back and listen the to answer.

Also, don’t try to hide the voice recorder, notebook or laptop. Display it as “if it were a fishing license” says McPhee. The subject will be watching as the writer takes down notes and will begin to get nervous when they stop. Every now and then, the interviewee becomes nervous, tries harder, and spills out a secret or important piece of information.

McPhee goes on to say that “if doing nothing can produce a useful reaction, so can the appearance of being dumb.” Some subjects require additional information or simpler explanations so it can be of benefit to ask the interviewee to review or explain the matter again.

However, McPhee says that enough preparation should be done before the interview so that the writer is at the very least, polite. For example, it wouldn’t be wise nor nice to ask someone like Elon Musk or Tom Cruise what they do for a living.


 

2) The First draft is the hardest

“For me, the hardest part comes first, getting something–anything–out in front of me. Sometimes in a nervous frenzy I just fling words as if I were flinging mud at a wall. Blurt out, heave out, babble out something–anything–as a first draft. With that, you have achieved a sort of nucleus.”

— Page 159

Even after being a writer for several decades, McPhee still has trouble with writing a draft. First drafts are the most difficult because it takes time and still comes out awful. For one of McPhee’s books, the first draft took him “two gloomy years.”

Writers must simply start writing and be aware that the piece will likely be terrible but at least it will have some kind of shape. Throughout this process, there may be some doubt and many experienced writers, and even published authors, start to question their writing skill and the work itself.

The good news however is that once the first draft is completed, a lot of the dread disappears. The second draft involves altering sentences and editing, and these steps are repeated in drafts three and four. Writers have the special ability to review and revise their work, unlike an artist on stage. Use this special power and craft your work from a piece of stone into a sculpture.

 

3) Focus On The Details

“If I enjoy anything in this process it is draft no. 4. I go searching for replacements for the words in the boxes. The final adjustments may be small-scale, but they are large to me, and I love addressing them.”

— Page 162

When McPhee finally gets to draft number four, he marks certain words that do not seem quite right or perhaps could be even better with the right word. Although this step may seem minute, McPhee believes that it is this type of small-scale works can make transform the piece into something great.

McPhee writes that he spends a lot of time with dictionaries, but “more time looking up words I know than words I have never heard of–at least ninety-nine to one.” Certain words can have multiple meanings and definitions change over time as language evolves over time, so it’s important to make sure the word carries the correct meaning the writer is trying to convey.

Another tool that McPhee uses is a thesaurus. It improves his writing by helping him find the best possible word for the sentence. Don’t rely just on memory, use tools such as dictionaries and thesauruses that will help take your work from good to great.
 

Conclusion:

“Draft No. 4” is less than 200 pages long and can be read rather quickly. McPhee is a fantastic writer and knows how to keep readers engaged.

However, this book is more of a story format book rather than a book with clear-cut lessons and tips for readers.

If you write for a career and have already a lot of the mainstream books on writing, then you might enjoy this book. But if you are just starting out as a writer, I’d recommend “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser or “Ernest Hemingway on Writing" edited by Larry Phillips.

Rating: 3/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Draft No. 4” by John McPhee
• Pages: 192
• For: People who want to improve their writing skills
• Lesson: Learn about writing and the writing process from a staff writer at The New Yorker

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"Make Your Bed" by William McRaven

Summary:

Make Your Bed (2017) is written by William H. McRaven, a retired four-star US Navy SEAL admiral. Throughout his 37 years of service, McRaven learned a lot about life and success through his military training and combat experience overseas.

Admiral William McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired)

The book is a collection of McRaven’s ten most valuable lessons he learned from BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training). For those unfamiliar with BUD/S, here is an overview:

“Before becoming Navy SEALs, candidates are put through some of the most mentally challenging and physically demanding training in the world. Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training, or BUD/S, is designed to find and develop men of the strongest character who give everything.“

McRaven then talks about how he applied the lessons he learned from BUD/S towards his professional and personal life. The book is based on McRaven’s now viral commencement speech at the University of Texas.
 

Lessons:

1)  Make Your Bed

“Making my bed correctly was not going to be an opportunity for praise. It was expected of me. It was my first task of the day, and doing it right was important. It demonstrated my discipline. It showed my attention to detail, and at the end of the day it would be a reminder that I had done something well, something to be proud of, no matter how small the task.”

— Page 6

The first lesson in the book is one that soldiers learn very early on in military training–making their beds. If not done to perfection, the soldier can expect to be punished through physical training.

This may seem silly or sadistic, but there is an important lesson behind this simple task. Soldiers are expected to make their beds correctly because it shows attention to detail and discipline. If someone can’t make their bed, how can they be expected to follow or lead others into battle? The small things must be done right before big things can be accomplished.

This simple task is also a reminder that something done well, no matter how small, is something to be proud of. Accomplishing a task, even a small one, will fill the person with a sense of pride and encourage them to do another task.

Also, if the soldier has an exceptionally tough day of training or combat, they will remember that whenever they return, there will be a clean bed waiting for them (Author and psychologist Jordan Peterson is also a big fan of people having their beds made and room clean).

2) Get Over Being A Sugar Cookie 

“In all of SEAL training there was nothing more uncomfortable than being a sugar cookie. There were a lot of things more painful and more exhausting, but being a sugar cookie tested your patience and your determination. Not just because you spent the rest of the day with sand down your neck, under your arms, and between your legs, but because the act of becoming a sugar cookie was completely indiscriminate. There was no rhyme or reason. You became a sugar cookie at the whim of the instructor.”

— Page 38

US Navy SEALs are some of the most elite soldiers in the world, but becoming one is filled with challenges such as having to become a sugar cookie. This is done by jumping in the cold Pacific water and then covering oneself completely in sand. The soldier would then stay in that uniform the rest of the day, cold, wet and sandy.

Similarly to making one's bed, this task may seem ridiculous at first but it holds a deep life lesson.

While training to become a SEAL, McRaven was told to become a sugar cookie. Afterwards, the Lieutenant came over and explained why the instructors make recruits perform this task.

The lesson to learn from becoming a sugar cookie is that life isn’t fair and the sooner soldiers learn this, the better off they will be.

Sometimes no matter how well a person prepares or how well they perform, it's possible to end up as a sugar cookie in life. Instead of complaining or being negative, one must accept that life can be unfair, but they must keep moving forward.
 

3) Don’t Back Down From Sharks

“But you are also taught that if a shark begins to circle your position–stand your ground. Do not swim away. Do not act afraid. And if the shark, hungry for a midnight snack, darts towards you–then summon up all your strength and punch him in the snout, and he will turn and swim away.”

— Page 120

During SEAL training, recruits spend a large portion of their time swimming in the open waters of the Pacific ocean. These waters are known to be a breeding ground for many sharks–including great white sharks. However, to pass SEAL training, soldiers must complete a series of long swims, most during the daytime but some during the night, through this shark-infested area.

Instructors advise students that no student has ever been eaten by a shark–at least not recently, but if a shark did begin to circle a student they should stand their ground. The student should not swim away nor act afraid.

If the shark darts towards them, they should gather their strength and punch the shark in the snout.

The shark in this story is a symbol for the bullies of the world.

Sharks, like bullies, will try to scare their prey and target weak animals. To combat sharks, one must have the courage to stand up to these predators. With courage, people have the ability to defy and defeat any evil.

So remember: make your bed every morning, life can be unfair at times but you must keep moving forward, and stand up to bullies to make the world a better place. These simple lessons along with others are the little things that can change your life...and maybe even the world.

Conclusion:

There have been a lot of books by Navy SEALs in the past few years, some wrote war memoirs, others wrote about training soldiers, while others wrote about business lessons. But this book is unique because it focuses solely on life lessons and how readers can improve themselves and the world around them.

I bought this book after watching Admiral McRaven’s commencement speech (if you haven’t watched it, here’s the link) because I found his words inspiring.

The book expands on McRaven’s speech and provides situations where McRaven learned these life lessons and how he applied this knowledge throughout his career.

At 130 pages, the book is quite short and can be read in under three hours. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for some inspiration or need guidance in life.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Make Your Bed” by Admiral William McRaven
• Pages: 130
• For: People who need some inspiration or guidance in life, those who seek life advice
• Lesson: Learn how doing certain little things in your life can help change yourself and the world for the better

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"Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki

Summary:

“Rich Dad Poor Dad” was written by Robert Kiyosaki–an investor, entrepreneur, and educator who is often called the millionaire school teacher. Kiyosaki aims to teach readers how to be financially literate, a skill that is often taught only by rich parents to their soon to be rich children.
 

While growing up, Kiyosaki had two dads, one was his biological father, and the other was his best friend’s father. The author’s real father worked for the government and had a Ph.D. However, although this dad was well-educated, he often struggled with money and paying the bills.

On the other hand, Kiyosaki’s second father had an eighth-grade education but went on to become one of the richest men in Hawaii. Kiyosaki talks about money lessons he learned from both of his fathers and teaches readers the secret to becoming financially independent and successful.

Robert Kiyosaki, author of the bestselling book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” Kiyosaki has authored more than 15 books to date.

 

Lessons:

1) The RicH Buy Assets, The Poor Buy Liabilities

“You must know the difference between an asset and a liability, and buy assets. If you want to be rich, this is all you need to know. It is Rule No. 1. It is the only rule. This may sound absurdly simple, but most people have no idea how profound this rule is. Most people struggle financially because they do not know the difference between an asset and liability. ”

— Page 58

The main difference between an asset and liability is that an asset makes money, while a liability loses money.

The rule sounds simple, yet many people, especially the middle and poor class, confuse the two groups.

Here’s what Kiyosaki’s rich dad considers to be an asset:

• Businesses that require little oversight
• Stocks
• Bonds
• Mutual funds
• Income-generating real estate
• Notes (IOUs)
• Royalties from intellectual property such as music, scripts, patents
• And anything that has value, produces income or appreciates and has a ready market

All assets have one thing in common, they will make you more money. That is why you want to own assets.

Liabilities, on the other hand, drain money from your pockets.

Liabilities can be anything from home mortgages, consumer loans, credit cards, or a new car, furniture or appliance when the old one works fine.

Take a new car for example. Many people believe a car is an investment, but this is only true in rare cases, such as if it is a collectible or limited edition.

With a regular car, as soon as you drive off the dealer's lot, it automatically decreases in value. Then there’s car insurance, license plates, and registration costs. There’s also fuel costs and yearly check-ups. Also, the more a person drives a car, the more it decreases in value. A car bought for $20,000 may end costing $30,000 or more after five years of insurance payments, fuel costs, and other related expenses.

However, if the person took that same $20,000 and put it into the stock market and earned 10% each year, they would now have over $30,000 in their account. See the difference? One person lost $30K while the other made $30K. 
 

2) Overcome the fear of losing money

“Once people have studied and become financially literate, they may still face roadblocks to becoming financially independent. There are five main reasons why financially literate people may still not develop abundant asset columns. Asset columns that could produce large sums of cash flow. Asset columns that could free them to live the life they dream of, instead of working full time just to pay bills.”

— Page 147

The fear of losing money is one of the first obstacles that must be overcome. Kiyosaki writes that he has never met a rich person who has never lost money. He goes on to say that everyone is afraid of losing money, even the rich. The difference is how one handles losing money.

One of the best ways to handle this fear is to start investing early and see losing money as a teaching tool. Anyone who rides a bike will fall down many times and anyone who plays golf will lose at least a couple of golf balls, all of these moments are opportunities to learn from mistakes.

Losing money and failing is part of the journey to becoming better. Failure decreases fears and can increase a person’s desire to win.

In his book, Kiyosaki goes on to talk about the other four obstacles to success, including cynicism, laziness, bad habits, and arrogance.
 

3) Education Is The Best Investment

“Just because you have no money, it should not be an excuse to not learn. But that is a choice we all make daily, the choice of what we do with our time, our money and what we put in our heads. That is the power of choice. All of us have a choice. I just choose to be rich, and I make that choice every day.”

— Page 168

Before making investments in assets, the first investment should be in education. Kiyosaki says that the mind is the only real asset people have, and the most powerful tool in our domain.

Everyday people have the choice of whether to watch TV, play video games, or read a book. “90 percent of the population buys TV sets and only about 10 percent buy books on business or tapes on investments,” says Kiyosaki.

There are multiple ways people can invest in education.

To start, you can buy books. If books are expensive, buy a used copy or go to a library. If you’re more of an audio person, can also listen to audio-books (here's a link to a free audio book).

There are also tons of videos on YouTube that are educational and free watch to watch. One of the author's favorite ways to learn is by attending in-person seminars that take a deep dive into the subject.

To be successful, people must be humble enough to realize that they don’t know everything and that they should read and learn from what others have to say. Intelligent people welcome new ideas and one of the best ways to learn is by listening instead of talking.
 

Conclusion:

At first, I wasn’t sure if this book was worth reading because it sounded like a get-quick-rich type of book. However, since it was a #1 NYT bestseller, I figured I’d check it out.

Surprisingly, the book has a lot of solid information on money skills and how to manage one’s finances.

This is a great book for people in high school and college since educational institutions don’t focus on teaching money skills. Also, recommend it to people who have trouble with their finances and have never made any investments before.

The author also provides readers will additional tools and information at their website here.

Rating: 4/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki
• Pages: 207
• For: People in high school & college, and people who want to be financially independent
• Lesson: Learn how to invest your money properly, what rich people teach their kids, and common obstacles stopping people from financial success

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"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert Glover

Summary:

Written by a psychotherapist with a PhD., No More Mr. Nice Guy (2003) by Dr. Glover, examines ‘nice guy syndrome’ and shows readers how to break free from this disease.

Contrary to popular belief, most ‘nice guys’ aren’t nice.

These are men that are passive aggressive, seek approval, and use many forms of manipulation. Nice Guys believe that if they are nice and give a lot to others, in return other people will be nice and give back to them.

They view niceness as an exchange, instead of as a gift. Because of this, many nice guys become unhappy and frustrated, especially with women, because they believe the other person didn’t complete their end of the deal.

Nice guy behavior includes: care taking, giving to get, fixing, keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, seeking approval, hiding mistakes.

Many of them are also: dishonest, secretive, controlling, passive-aggressive, isolated, and full of rage.

Author Dr. Glover

Dr. Glover explains all of these traits and provides examples of how men can change for the better. Each chapter has a “Breaking Free: Activity” to help men go from a Nice Guy to a good guy. A few of the important lessons readers learn from this book, is how to: set boundaries, build meaningful relationships, express their feelings, deal with problems, and accept themselves. 

Lessons:

1) Nice Guys Aren’t Actually Nice

“As a result of the conditioning they received in their family and society, Nice Guys believe if they are “good,” then they should be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. In reality, the primary paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is nothing more than a big covert contract with life.”

— Page 62

Nice Guys use a contract that says “I will do this X, so that you will do Y” but this contract is only known to the Nice Guy and they become resentful when the other person does not give back.

The Nice Guy often sees themselves as the victim, and giving to get creates a cycle of craziness that turns into what Dr. Glover calls the "Victim Triangle". It consists of three predictable sequences:

1. The Nice Guy gives to others hoping to get something in return.
2. When he doesn’t get as much in return, he becomes frustrated and resentful. Remember, the Nice Guy is the one keeping score, and isn’t totally objective.
3. After the frustration and resentment builds up long enough, it spills out in the form of rage attacks, passive-aggressive behavior, pouting, tantrums, withdrawing, shaming, criticizing, blaming, and physical abuse. Once the cycle is completed, it begins all over again.

This is just one of the reasons why Nice Guys aren’t always nice.

Other times, Nice Guys try to buy people’s love. One such man described in Glover’s book bought his girlfriend gifts, sent her cards, bought her clothes, planned special surprises, and helped out with her home.

However, all of this was too much for the girlfriend and she felt it was overwhelming and that she could never repay him. So she tried to stop him by pushing him away. Meanwhile, the man didn’t understand and lashed out at his girlfriend, as predicted in the victim triangle.

Nice Guys often swing between the two extremes of being overwhelming nice to seriously angry. Be aware of Nice Guy traits in yourself and potential partners. Identifying the problem is the first step towards solving it.
 

2) Reclaim Your Masculinity

“I define masculinity as that part of a man that equips him to survive as an individual, clan, and species. Without this masculine energy we would have all become extinct eons ago. Masculinity empowers a man to create and produce. It also empowers him to provide for and protect those who are important to him. These aspects of masculinity include strength, discipline, courage, passion, persistence, and integrity.”

— Page 93

Most Nice Guys are disconnected from their masculinity and other men. They strive to attract women by being different and believe that by being nice and kind they will be able to get any women they desire.

Meanwhile, men who are “jerks” are able to attract women and the Nice Guys begin to resent women for being so blind and ignorant. Dr. Glover asked several women why they go after these so-called jerks over Nice Guys, and they said that Nice Guys have little life energy in them and that “jerks” have a masculine edge to them.

Women don’t want a passive, pleasing wimp, writes Dr. Glover. Women don’t want to be married to someone they can walk all over. A women won’t feel safe knowing she can push her man around. If she can push him around, it means other people can too.

This is why, time after time, women will test their men. She wants to see if she can trust her man. She will do her best to see if boundaries exist, or if her man will just roll over and quit.

Setting boundaries will create respect. If she knows her man will stand up to her, he is also likely to stand up for her.

Nice Guys must also connect with other men that are healthy male role models. Women are attracted to men who have a strong social circle and it helps the man get some of his emotional and social needs met with men, taking pressure off from their wife.

As a result of getting their emotional needs met with men, Nice Guys become less dependent, needy, manipulative, and resentful in their relationships with women.

 

3) Take Responsibility and Work to Improve

“It is time to start getting what you want. Breaking free from the Nice Guy Syndrome will allow you to discover your true passion and potential. By taking responsibility for creating the kind of life you really want, you can become all that you were meant to be.”

— Page 175

This is a theme I see over and over again in books (“Extreme Ownership” & “12 Rules for Life”). You are the only person on this planet that is responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness. Once you accept that fact, it is time to start working on improving your life to the quality you desire.

Dr. Glover provides several key actions to help readers improve their life:

• Don’t settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.
• Put yourself first.
• No matter what happens, you will handle it.
• Ask for what you want.
• Be clear and direct.
• Learn to say “no.”
• Don’t make excuses.
• Be honest with yourself.
• Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever.
• Stop blaming, victims never succeed.
• Live with integrity, decide what feels right to you, then do it.
• Be good to yourself.
• Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences.
• Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want.
• If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.

Conclusion:

I was skeptical of this book at first because the title sounded as if it were from the PUA community, but I looked into the author and saw that he had concrete credentials so I gave this book a shot.

This book provides a treasure trove of information and is less than 200 pages long. It will change your perspective on life and help you become a better person in relationships and beyond. If you’ve been called a Nice Guy before or are stuck in the friend zone, definitely give this book a chance.

The author also provides readers will additional tools and information at their website here. I highly recommend reading this book if you want to stop being a Nice Guy and start living life a true and genuine man.

Rating: 5/5 stars

If you’re interested in reading the book, click here or on the image below!

• Book: “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover
• Pages: 180
• For: Men who are unhappy with their relationship, stuck in the friend zone, or men who have been called a “nice guy”
• Lesson: Learn how to be confident, embrace your masculinity, accept yourself, and build meaningful relationships

If you enjoyed this article, consider supporting our site or signing up for our monthly newsletter. Thank you!

Reader freebies:

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